Fear For My Life...

I think year 12 and VCE are trying to kill me.

No, I'm not crazy (well...not any more than usual), hear me out:

a) High levels of prolonged stress, caused by exams, SACs, miscellaneous assignments, etc, weakens the immune systems, leaving me highly susceptible to illness, with potentially lethal results. I could, quite possibly, die of a common cold.

b) Paper-cuts received from the large amount of print-outs, hand-outs, etc, will result in either:
i Blood loss leading to death.
ii Loss of a vital appendage.

[Side note: the reason that all of these rain-forests need to be cut down? VCE (to mangle a quote from Pokemon, a successful series about the enslavement of small animals and making them settle disputes with mortal combat), I blame you.]

c) My need for liquid caffeine (Coffee, Coca-Cola, etc) has left me open to poisoning. My sleepiness before consuming one of said beverages could lead me to ignore a potentially vital hint (i.e. that the coffee is green and foaming) with dire and fatal consequences.

d) Use of public transport could result in:
i Mugging/Potential Rape
ii Death by boredom
iii Death by being run-over
iv Death at the hands of increasingly Gestapo like Ticket Inspectors.

Au Revoir.