10 Ways of Spending $22 Million That Don't Involve 'Leadership'...

1) APS's retirement fund.

2) Launching an inquiry into what exactly it is that PF does. Alternatively, making sure she is never seen again.

3) Researching winged-monkeys. Oh come on. You know it would be awesome.

4) Building a missile. I'm ready to take our rivalry with Scotch that one step further.

5) Reducing the cost of education.

6) Hiring Al Gore to teach an Earth Studies Class.

7) Hiring Gordon Ramsey to run the cafeteria.

8) Prison uniforms for every student/Bars on every window/Weapons and Guard Uniforms for Prefects.

9) Cutting down the school's greenhouse gas/carbon emissions.

10) Aston Martin DB9s for all year twelves as a "going away" present.

Music & Lyrics...

There are some bands that rock. Then there are those who rock you so hard that you will never, EVER be rocked again. I think you know who I'm talking about:



Oh yes.

I was playing Guitar Hero 3 (badly, according to my friends, although I protest that I'm a casual gamer) and I came across this frankly awesome song by The Kaiser Chiefs:



My iPod is stuck in the 90s, so it would be unfair to go further without mentioning one of the greatest songs of my childhood, with an awesome piano line (which, not meaning to boast or anything, I can play), and a pretty cool video (here)

For all the geeks out there, a little Jonathan Coulton:



And finally, for all the English students, the Doug Anthony All Stars have this interesting interpretation of a classic:



Au Revoir.

Fear For My Life...

I think year 12 and VCE are trying to kill me.

No, I'm not crazy (well...not any more than usual), hear me out:

a) High levels of prolonged stress, caused by exams, SACs, miscellaneous assignments, etc, weakens the immune systems, leaving me highly susceptible to illness, with potentially lethal results. I could, quite possibly, die of a common cold.

b) Paper-cuts received from the large amount of print-outs, hand-outs, etc, will result in either:
i Blood loss leading to death.
ii Loss of a vital appendage.

[Side note: the reason that all of these rain-forests need to be cut down? VCE (to mangle a quote from Pokemon, a successful series about the enslavement of small animals and making them settle disputes with mortal combat), I blame you.]

c) My need for liquid caffeine (Coffee, Coca-Cola, etc) has left me open to poisoning. My sleepiness before consuming one of said beverages could lead me to ignore a potentially vital hint (i.e. that the coffee is green and foaming) with dire and fatal consequences.

d) Use of public transport could result in:
i Mugging/Potential Rape
ii Death by boredom
iii Death by being run-over
iv Death at the hands of increasingly Gestapo like Ticket Inspectors.

Au Revoir.

Trams, Trains and Ways of Passing The Time...

Things I need to stop doing on Trams:

1) Making faces at babies to make them laugh. Eventually someone is going to misunderstand my desire to entertain their offspring.

2) Pretending to have multiple-personality disorder and having arguments with myself. Alternatively, start muttering profanities, then when someone asks say "yeah, you can really hear my thoughts. Wanker."

3) Whenever someone's on the phone, pretending to be the other half of the conversation, and seeing if I can distract them.

4) Reading excerpts from Edgar Allen Poe/Shakespeare.

5) Dancing.

Actually, that last one requires some explanation. I'd just got a new set of speakers for my iPod, and I wanted to see if they worked. So I cranked them out, plugged them in, and ten minutes later I got at least three people to do the Macarena. And then I did this to them.

I also dance to music on my iPod. Yeah. River-dancing is fine, but not at Flinders Street Station when no-one else can hear the music.



Okay, that's enough of that.

A few things that warrant sharing around the internet:

Firstly, this from our old friend Wikipedia:
Reductio ad Hitlerum, also argumentum ad Hitlerum, or reductio (or argumentum) ad Nazium – dog Latin for "reduction (or argument) to Adolf Hitler (or the Nazis)" – is a modern informal fallacy in logic. It is a variety of both questionable cause and association fallacy. The phrase reductio ad Hitlerum was coined by an academic ethicist, Leo Strauss, in 1953. Engaging in this fallacy is sometimes known as playing the Nazi card.
The fallacy most often assumes the form of "Hitler (or the Nazis) supported X, therefore X must be evil/undesirable/bad." The argument carries emotional weight as rhetoric, since in most cultures anything relating to Hitler or Nazis is automatically condemned. The tactic is often used to derail arguments, as such a comparison tends to distract and to result in angry and less reasoned responses.

(Oh, check out this from Jeph Jacques's Questionable Content)

Go here for an MP3 of Senator Ted Steven's speech on Net Neutrality that included the famous phrase "The Internet is a series of tubes". Yes, he really did say that. And yes, he is a Senator.

I would also recommend anyone with an atheistic vein, check out the homepage of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. A decrease in the number of Pirates is to blame for Global Warming. And there's a graph to prove it.

Richardson's Morality Theorem: created by my good friend Tom Richardson during a philosophy lesson when we were bored, it runs that "whenever you smile at a rainbow, a unicorn appears and gives you morality". When pressed to provide evidence, he replied "look, it's invisible, alright? That's why you can't see it".

Also in a philosophical vein, I hate Iris Murdoch. More on that later, but the biggest distinction between Male and Female philosophy students is that guys like Nietzsche and hate Murdoch, girls like Murdoch and hate Nietzsche.

Au Revoir.

Sir-Drinks-A-Lot...

So it's Sunday night, and I'm doing what any young, sensible man would do on a Sunday. That's right, I'm at home watching How I Met Your Mother.

Anyway, here are some of the drinks mentioned in the Episode "Belly Full of Turkey", as seen on the Barney Blog (archive copy here):

THANKSTINI
1 part Vodka
2 parts Cranberry juice
1 Boullion Cube (chicken)

A real centerpiece for your T-day spread, the Thankstini will parade down your esophagus like turkeys to the slaughter.

THE LONG WINTER'S NAP
1 bottle Rye Whiskey
1 bottle Children's Formula Cough Syrup

Liberally spike the bottle of whiskey with the cough syrup and count your visiting relatives like sheep as you drift into a holiday hibernation of contentment.

ARBOR DAZE
1 part Gin
1 Tree-Shaped Car Freshener

Salute our tall, wooden friends on the last April Friday with a classy tumbler filled to the brim with dry gin and stirred with your choice of car fresheners. I recommend grabbing an assortment at your local car-wash and trying out several "shades," though I find the vanillaroma and new-car the most tree-licious.

THE CHRISTMAS HAM
1 part Bourbon
1 Tbsp. Brown Sugar
1 jar Bacon Bits

Garnish this drink with a pineapple ring and enjoy all the flavor of a Christmas ham, with half the calories, and 1/20th the preparation time, allowing you more time to unwrap any tasty presents dear Santa has left you under the tree.

RAMADAN AND COKE
1 part Rum
2 parts Cola (or "Pop," if you're retarded)

Celebrate the third pillar of Islam and practice self-control with a delicious R and C. Mix conservatively as daytime fasting, while providing more bang for your alcoholic buck, might have you praying towards Mecca sooner than you know it.

INDEPENDENCE DAY JUICE
1 part Cinnamon Schnapps
1 part Milk
1 part Curacao
1 package Sparklers

Shoot this spangled shot and avoid talking shop at your next 4th of July barbecue. NOTE: Place sparklers outside rim of shotglass.


Au Revoir

Family, Creativity...

Family lunch today. All six of us descended like the wrath of God (Yes, I am an atheist, but it's easier to say "God" than "random fluctuation in space/time for which we cannot, yet, see an explanation") upon the Dendy Deli in Brighton.

I feel sorry for restaurants that have to deal with us. First you have two small children screaming with excitement. Add a fussy eater or two, a person who can't make up their mind on what to have, and stick me in the middle. Something will invariably be sent back, and if more than ten seconds elapses between ordering and arrival of food, prepare to hear a complaint. It's kind of like Gordon Ramsay - by swearing and hurling abuse we hope to bring out the best in you. Frankly, it's a baptism of fire for any waiter/waitress foolish enough to say the words "may I take your order?".

I had a BLT. I appreciate that it isn't good for me, and all you vegetarians can go rot; I likes me crispy bacon. And it was good!

Sometimes it's the simple things which are the best. I could have ordered one of the many elaborate (and, lets not forget, expensive) dishes available, and I may even have enjoyed it more, but there's something almost spiritual about a good BLT. It's nourishment for the soul (a phrase my RE department would be shocked to hear me use).



Developments on the creative front! Mostly other people's!

For your pleasure, we present "Unjustice" by Bethany Shoer (check out her blog):

For an undeterminable, near-infinite duration,
Pensive, anxious
Like a male walrus on a smooth warm stone
Pondering his sexuality
Only to have it proven
Abruptly
By a befuddled young Irishman entranced, enthralled by
Bestiality and seditious lust

The victims, whilst somewhat deprived
Of any sort of stereotypical beauty and respectibility, were
Bald, corpulent and irrepressibly curvaceous
Like the aforementioned walrus.
Sitting atop a barren, ominous bench
The location for hysterical pleas
For justice and sanity in
This despicable, farcical world
They begged for mercy, clutching their hairless skulls
With their hands fraught with pain
"This monster! He must be condemned!"
They shrieked
Their shrill cries minor thirds apart in pitch
"UNJUSTICE!"

We quivered.
Bald, hideous and lacking in a basic vocabulary
No wonder young Paddy assumed their
Animalism.

Thus, with a deep sigh
Indicative of our obligations
A witness rose from the stands

"The running commentary in his mind
was chanting
PRETEND HE'S A WALRUS."


As well as the opening lines of Dave Parncutt's heavily anticipated "Doug Rap":

Yo this be me and my name's Doug/my voice is smoother than a velvet rug


As well as some works of my own. Every since I joked in a previous post on 'Wicked' about a musical based on '1984' (the George Orwell one, not the year), I've actually been giving it some serious though and decided the idea has potential. So, I present to you, the first draft of the first verse from the song "Two Plus Two Is Five", the finale to 1984 - The Musicganda from the Ministry Of Truth:

(Winston Smith)
Two plus two equals five,
It's a thought process that'll keep you alive,
Life is doubleplusgood, so the Party say.
What can be found in Room 101?
The person who knows best is you.
Just, bare in mind that five is two plus two.


Au Revoir.

International Nerd, My School And Other Animals...

So apparently the french for dick-head is "le phallus tete". Now you know.

I know bits (mostly swearing) of 10 different languages, including Klingon and Esperanto. Let me tell you, the former is great for picking up chicks, because nothing says "I love you" like pledging to destroy a star-system and eat babies. The latter is fun because NO-ONE, and I mean no-one, speaks it. At least you can find nerds at a Sci-fi Con who speak Klingon.

Oh, great way to start a nerd fight; yell out "Piccard sucks! Kirk rules!" and then run for cover.

My school makes a big deal of being "Multi-cultural" and other sound-bites. To whit, the last time I encountered two of the school's Aboriginal students was when they were asked to play the didgeridoo and dance half-naked at the Sesquicentenary (yes, that IS a real word) Concert. Apparently this is "acceptance" of another culture.

I wish we could just drop the pretense, and just get back to being blatantly conservative. The only time we're forward thinking is when it comes to sucking money out of people: the "Centre For Learning and Leadership" speaks for itself (Actually, props to one member of staff who has started referring to it as the "Center For Loafing and Leisure", which is far closer to the truth).

Au Revoir.

Party...

Imagine, if you will, a party.

That party is, in fact, my life.

Now, you might say "that's a pretty awesome life you've got Nick", but let me tell you something about this particular party.

It's the kind of party where you know no-one. All the beer's already been drunk, and the food makes you vomit. Some idiot is hanging in the corner playing music. His taste in music is terrible, but that's okay because you only hear the first thirty seconds of a song before he shakes his head, and changes to something almost identically dreadful.

You want to go home, but you can't because it would be rude, and you need to at least let the host know you're here, so you hover nervously around the edge of a conversation. When it finishes, half-an-hour later the host turns to you and says "I'll be back in a minute". You don't see them for the rest of the night.

The guy in the corner final picks a song he likes, and you decide to show off your dance moves. You pull a muscle, and fall to the ground, where you also manage to get a blood nose. Nobody offers to help.

You manage to get back up, but one of your contacts has fallen out. You eventually find it under the sofa. It's covered in cat hair. No-one in a ten-mile radius owns a cat. So where did the hair come from?

You turn to make your way to the bathroom and, quite by accident because you cannot see, punch the host's girlfriend in the face. As you try to apologize, you rip her dress.

The evening ends with you, blind, and feeling like you're going to throw up, being pummeled to death by the host, before thrown out for being "drunk and embarrassing".

That is my party, sometimes.

"It's D&D" by Stephen Lynch...

You can also find a rather good version by a couple of guys dressed as Tycho and Gabe from Penny Arcade here

Au Revior.

Speaking of Rove...

I should go watch the video-clip for Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl" again. You know. 'cause I love music and all that. Not for any other reason. Far out!

Au Revoir.

Hey Hey It's Rove...

So Carrie Bickmore just made a hilarious (can I make my sarcasm any more clear?) about Daryl Somers (who apparently has an OAM!) talking with nine about reviving Hey Hey It's Saturday and that heralding the apocalypse. Well I say, not fair! Bring back Hey Hey.

Any of us who grew up in the 90s (the glory years), or owned a TV between '71 and '99 will be aware of what a brilliant program it was. And when they announced they were going off air, I died a little inside. I think it was the day that, as an eight-year-old, I accepted that nothing could last forever, no matter how much you wanted it too. I actually cried.



So what if the humor was a little cheesy in places? How could you not learn to love a program that gave us such staples as Red Faces and Plucka Duck, Masterslime and Media Watch Press (which, somewhat ironically for Carrie, was used as the basis for the What The? segment of Rove)? Ossie Ostrich and Plucka Duck where the heroes of my childhood, and Red Symons was the definition of evil. Oh, and Dickie Knee.



And who could forget Livinia Nixon, Wilbur Wilde, Molly Meldrum, Russell Gilbert, Jo Beth Taylor and all the other cast members who graced our screens over the years, who amused us with their stories and escapades.

It's an Australian Classic. Not loving it would be like shooting Phar Lap while spewing Vegemite all over the Flag and simultaneously urinating in a bottle of VB.

Au Revoir.

The Gospel According To Jones...

“Thou shalt go out and party on the weekend, but thou shalt remember to not shame thyself or thy fellow party-ers...and thou shalt take a day of rest upon the first of every work-week, and it shall be known as 'the day of hangovers'...“

“Do not act in a way demeaning of thyself or the self of others, unless thou art in a state of drunken-ness; and even then thou shalt cause no lasting harm, but, being assured of thy prowess at singing, thou shalt partake in karaoke...“

“Thou shalt not think of thyself as anything more than one amongst many, for no-one likes a show-off. You're no better than anyone else, deal with it.“

“The greatest knowledge is of thyself; knowing that is all that matters. Eighth-grade maths is well for accountants, but self-awarness is well for humans.“

“Thou shalt honour thy mother and father - they birthed you, the least you can do is cough-up for a decent retirement-home; for remember that one day thouest will be old, and when that happens thou will want of a decent retirement-home too.“

“Thou shalt not, and I really want to stress this, NOT kill. Nor shalt thou engage others in violence. In exchange for this non-violence, thou shalt not act like thou hast a phallus for a head merely because thou shalt not be hit. Just everyone be cool, okay?“

“Thou shalt think, feel and be whatever thou wantest, provided it does not interfere with what other wish to think/feel/be. Nor shalt thou act as a phallus-head accordingly.“

“Drugs are a naturally occurance, they grow in the ground. Unless it causes you to act like an aforementioned phallus-head, which is a no-no, go bananas.“

“Believe whatever you want to believe, it matters not to me. If other do not share your belief, that's their loss. Do not force thy beliefs upon others. Just leave people alone.“

“Thou shalt never text while in a state of drunken-ness, nor shalt thy friends allow it. Thou mayest think “i <3 ur boobz“ is witty and poetic, but thou art alone in that regard.“

“Thou shalt make no decisions after two of the moring - no good may come of it, go back to bed.“

“Thou shalt accept responsibility for thy actions, not blame thy failings on others, particularly the foreign guy at work who doesn't speak English. That's a metaphor.“

“Do not buy more than thou can'st afford. Once again, metaphor.“

“Thou shalt make bad decisions and mistakes though thou tryest hard not too - that is allowed. The choice thing forbidden is to make one un-informed. If thou would smoke, be aware of the risks to thy health. If thou would drink, do so responsibly. If thou would use drugs, be aware of the consequences. It's common sense. Know thy limits, what thy can and can not handle. If thou doest not partake of this wisdom, thou art in posession of a phallus for a head.“

“All else thou shalt do free from persecution, but if thou contravenes any of these rules, thou nuts are mine.“

Wicked...

So I'm going to see Wicked on October the 3rd with MS and MV! AWESOME!

Description I've heard that sold it to me the most: "It's about oppression. It's about a fascist regime's attempts to alienate and demonize through propaganda. It's like 1984 with Witches and singing."

While I have always wanted to hear a musical version of "Two Plus Two Is Five" (or "How I Learnt To Stop Thinking And Love The Party"), until such a time as that happens, Wicked is looking pretty brilliant to me.

The fanatical devotion showered upon it by M McG has finally got to me. Perhaps this way I'll finally be able to get her to stop.

Besides, I heard Defying Gravity at the aforementioned Jazz Soiree (I really should demand a dollar per plug, shouldn't I? I'd be rolling in cash), and it sounds freakin' (I feel like a dirty hillbilly) sweet.

According to the Fountain of All Things Knowledgeable (i.e. Wikipedia), "Wicked tells the story of Elphaba, the future Wicked Witch of the West and her relationship with Glinda, the Good Witch of the North. Their friendship struggles through their opposing personalities and viewpoints, rivalry over the same love-interest, their reactions to the Wizard's corrupt government, and, ultimately, Elphaba's public fall from grace. The plot is set mostly before Dorothy's arrival from Kansas, and includes several references to well-known scenes and dialogue in the 1939 film The Wizard of Oz."

I'm really looking forward to it.

Oh, and I also want to see Machiavelli, The Musical. I'm thinking (for the theme tune) I Don't Want To Set The World On Fire.

Au Revoir.

Mummy-Mia...

Before I start: 1, 2, 3 -collective groan-. That truly was a terrible pun.

Ah, so I went and saw The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. Fans of the films, it's worth seeing. Everyone else, I don't know.

I mean, it follows the same, tired, predictable story as the other films: archaeologists discover a tomb, crazy mystic fanatics complete some bizarre ritual, the mummy comes alive, and then Brendan Fraser and an all star cast proceed to blow the crap out of it. Oh, and John Hannah makes an almost infuriating number of jokes along the lines of "can't they stay dead?", "I hate Mummies" and so on and so forth.

As a film, it's pretty terrible. Indiana Jones, which came out earlier this year, beat them to the whole father/son arch; you know, the one where they start of by fighting and then realize they're pretty much the same guy, really. Shia LeBouf and Harrison Ford were just that much more believable. Personally, I couldn't see Luke Ford as Brendan Fraser's son, and I'm certainly not alone in this (Side Note: I podcast the Totally Rad Show - check out their review from the 6/8).

Oh, and where the HELL is Rachel Weisz? Although I can totally respect that she had "problems with the script".

You could mistakenly think, from reading thus far, that I didn't like Mummy 3. You'd be wrong. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Don't get me wrong, it was a terrible film. The plot was shocking and implausible, and no Rachel Weisz. But, you know, that's kind of the point. If Indiana Jones is a spoof of the genre, then The Mummy is a spoof of that. And they even make a little joke about the fact Rachel isn't there ("I can honestly say she's an entirely different woman"). There's a loving tribute in that Jonathan's nightclub is called Imhotep (after the villain of the first two films), and, yeah, it's unbelievable, but so what? Don't think, just watch. You'll have fun. It'll be a magical ride. And there's an awesome battle between Terra-cotta Warriors and the Undead.

Blah blah blah Jet Li blah blah Michelle Youh blah sword fight. 'nuff said really.

Au Revoir.

Angel Wings, Jazz Soirees, And Why I Shouldn't Be Left Alone...

Just to get this off the bat quickly, here is the picture of me:



Yes, I did wear Black Angel Wings to school. Why? Shits and giggles. Also, I like to think I added a little bit of magic to everyone's day. You know that part of people that says "this is a bad idea. You'll be horrible embarrassed."? I don't have that. I think it might have died. Anyway, for me, doing stuff like that is the equivalent of, say, Bungee Jumping - just a rush of testosterone.

Ah, next topic.

Like listening to Barry Mannilow, tights, and covering yourself in honey, Jazz music is incredibly sexy. And so it was with great pleasure I found myself at the Korowa Jazz Soiree last night. FANTASTIC PERFORMANCE! The singers were great, the music was brilliant, and some of the original compositions were just plain awesome.

Highlights for me were Chicago's "25 or 6 to 4", which is a really great tune, very cool, and "Defying Gravity" from the musical "Wicked".

Shout-outs to BS who invited me and was the rockin' Bass player of choice, KP, who I hadn't seen since prep and had a crush on, who was grooving on the piano, and to AW, who was every bit as lovely as she was in primary school.

As for why I shouldn't be left alone, it's because I sing Gilbert & Sullivan songs when I get bored. So now you know.

Au Revoir.

Still Alive...

For anyone who played Portal:
1) I got really bored and figured out how to play the guitar bit for "Still Alive" in Jam Sessions on my DS. Please don't judge me.
2) If anyone was lucky enough to go to PAX, I hate you, you lucky bastards, you got to see Felicia Day sing "Still Alive" with Jonathan Coulton.
3) Go to http://www.vgcats.com/comics/extras/stillalive.php to see a really cute little Flash animation by Scott of VG Cats (while you're there, check out his webcomic...it's not all crap!)

Au Revoir.

Hmm...

Quick update (more later): I've just been informed that CERN are going to turn on the Large Hadron Collider tomorrow. If anything f%^&s up, we could all be dead.

Au Revoir.

Bad News...

Gordon "F$%^ing" Ramsey is back on TV.
I also hear he's got an OBE - the Queen must be losing it, giving that to someone like him.

Au Revoir.

(PS. I love italics, they're so expressive.)

Video Games, And Where Jack Thompson Should Stick It...

Two SACs today - one in Psych (which to be honest I'm regretting doing. I thought there would be more breaking people's minds), the other in Media (yes, I'm aware it's considered a "bludge", that's why I'm studying it).

Anyway, today we were doing the second part of a media SAC on different communication theories...I won't bore you with the details but the case study which we had to explain was an article regarding the Virginia Tech shootings, with some comments from everybody's favorite Florida Attorney and self-proclaimed "scourge" of the Video Game Industry, Jack Thompson.

For those of you unfamiliar with Mr. Thompson's work, I'll quote his wikipedia page:

More recently, Thompson has heavily criticized a number of video games and campaigned against their producers and distributors. His basic argument is that violent video games have repeatedly been used by teenagers as "murder simulators" to rehearse violent plans. He has pointed to alleged connections between such games and a number of school massacres. According to Thompson, "In every school shooting, we find that kids who pull the trigger are video gamers." Also, he claims that scientific studies show teenagers process the game environment differently from adults, leading to increased violence and copycat behavior. According to Thompson, "If some wacked-out adult wants to spend his time playing Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, one has to wonder why he doesn't get a life, but when it comes to kids, it has a demonstrable impact on their behavior and the development of the frontal lobes of their brain." Thompson has described the proliferation of games by Sony, a Japanese company, as "Pearl Harbor 2." According to Thompson, "Many parents think that stores won’t sell an M-rated game to someone under 17. We know that's not true, and, in fact, kids roughly 50 percent of that time, all the studies show, are able to walk into any store and get any game regardless of the rating, no questions asked."

Thompson has rejected arguments that such video games are protected by freedom of expression, saying, "Murder simulators are not constitutionally protected speech. They’re not even speech. They’re dangerous physical appliances that teach a kid how to kill efficiently and to love it," as well as simply calling video games "mental masturbation". In addition, he has attributed part of the impetus for violent games to the military, saying that it was looking "for a way to disconnect in the soldier's mind the physical act of pulling the trigger from the awful reality that a life may end." Thompson further claims that some of these games are based on military training and simulation technologies, such as those being developed at the Institute for Creative Technologies, which, he suggests, were created by the Department of Defense to help overcome soldiers' inhibition to kill. He also claims that the PlayStation 2's DualShock controller "gives you a pleasurable buzz back into your hands with each kill. This is operant conditioning, behavior modification right out of B. F. Skinner's laboratory."

The argument that Video Games, and the violence occasionally contained within, may cause extreme violence in some people is hardly a revolutionary, or, indeed a startling one. I mean, the same can be said of violent movies, or how listening to Marilyn Manson makes you a bad person (zing!). Some people are going to respond in this way to anything you throw at them, but for every lone nutter out there, there's at least a hundred guys and girls who frequently frag, slash and pwn noobs but wouldn't hurt a fly.

Sure, by all means restrict who can purchase violent games (oh wait, we already do that. It's called RATINGS, you may have heard of them when you were kicked out of the Cinema for trying to see naughty films), put warnings on labels (already doing it), maybe even put some kind of filter so it's not too violent. But please, don't blame the game because you're a psychopath.

On to the case at hand:
Mr. Thompson has taken it upon himself to lead a crusade against video games - wait, I'll say that again. Not a crusade against violence in games, but games themselves. Apparently anyone who has ever seen Terminator is eventually going to act it out starring themselves as Arnie and go on a killing rampage. With regard to the Virginia Tech shootings, apparently Counter Strike, amongst other games, "trained" the shooter to be a "virtual soldier", and that without video-games, none of this would have ever happened. The shootings certainly had nothing to do with his history of mental illness. Not at all.

Oh, it's also irrelevant that when the police raided his apartment there was no sign of any video games, consoles, or any other form of gaming gadgetry. Please don't try and claim he got violent ideas from playing Snake on his mobile, surely even you can see that's crazy.

I'm all for protesting vehemently for what you believe in, lord knows I've punched people in the face for suggesting that maybe Connex is doing an okay job, but please, Mr. Thompson, let's at least have a little method in our madness, okay? You've obviously conducted research into the matter, but can I raise a valid counter-point? I'm pretty sure Hitler never played GTA 4, and he did some pretty terrible things. I'm sorry to cheapen the debate by relating it to Hitler, but you're obviously not after intelligent debate, are you? You just want controversy, 'cause controversy makes you money.

Video games are a form of escapism, which, actually, is quite good for you. I mean, when else can I be a mischievous Mage who hurls flame-balls at people? Where else can I ride unicorns? Without doing drugs? 'Cause, you know, you haven't said anything bad about them and I'm sure they create even more problems than video games. You know. People killing each other over them. I'll be perfectly honest, if someone took my copy of Red Alert 2 I might...you know...ask if I could have it back. Damn, I guess I wouldn't respond violently. Sorry.

Maybe Tim Buckley got it right:




Au Revoir.

Modern Poetry...

Those of you who know me particularly well will know what a massive advocate of music in all it's forms (okay, that's a lie. I like a particular kind of music, i.e. good music, and am very vocal in my criticisms of any other form of music, mostly because I don't see it as music).

I don't like Rap or R'n'B (I'm fine with Rhythm and Blues, but not R'n'B - if I need to explain the difference, we're no longer friends. And that would be tragic, wouldn't it? Thought so).

Anyway, most modern stuff is pretty terrible, but occasionally you can across a piece of gold:

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end?

That's the chorus to Nelly Furtardo's "All Good Things (Come To An End)". First time I heard it I almost cried. If you are going to listen to it, I'd recommend the Norwegian Recycling version which you can download for free.

Another song that makes me cry is "The Scientist" by Coldplay:

Nobody said it was easy,
It's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard.

Oh take me back to the start.

Yeah. Music has this amazing ability to stir up these fantastic emotions in us. I think that the music we chose to listen to says something about us as a person. I listen to Chameleon Circuit, so I'm obviously a total nerd.

I'm gonna go listen to some Kate Nash, so, until next time, au revoir.