A long time in the making...

Okay. I could start this blog by appologising, but really, my real life is FAR more important than that of the internet. I do feel some guilt about leaving all of you (ha!) hanging about the ever important (ha!) ponderings of mine on modern society. The delightful scape-goat is that you chose to follow me, so I could pass any guilt of as your own. I'm not going to, 'cause that would be a cheap shot. Instead I'm going to do this "meta appology" thing, and mention how guilty I feel, without actually saying it. Meta = awesome.

Moving swiftly onwards: I'm currently watching the US version of "Life on Mars". I know that's immediate present, I'll move onto retrospective later. Although by the time that 9:30 Thursday I find myself in no condition to write "A Brief History of Time" - yay social life - it is, when considered on it's own, quite a brilliant series. When considered in comparison to the original, UK series, it's SHIT.

Here's the thing: for Christ sake! If you're going to do a version of a series for AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT CULTURE then PLEASE MAKE IT ORIGINAL. It should try to be something for the US audience - I appreciate I'm an ignorant Australian, but if it was a US series, it would be more like SVU. That show = awesome. Especially Elliot

Oh - when considered under it's individual merits, the US series is quite good. I don't know the lead actor's name, but he is very, very good. When considered under individual merits.

When it comes to comparison - English every time. I mean, the US actor CANNOT compare to John Simm. FUCK. Really it's just the UK version with US actors. And what is brilliant for the UK is FUCKING SHITE for the US. Sorry, but that's how it is. What'shisface cannot compare (sorry, I'lll wiki it) to John Simms.

Jason O'Mara. And I had to squint to write that. Worrying.

I think the point is that when you take an already existing idea, and trying to "Americanize" it, it becomes inherently shit. There it is.

But the US series of "Life on Mars", without a comparison, is vey good. And I do love the actors they have for it. But I do thing of the UK series, because you directly copy it, and the UK were better. There it is.

People try to shut me d-d-down,
Just 'cause my musings get around,
Old folks act like total noobs,
Get off the net: you block the tubes!

Why don't you all d-d-disconnect,
And don't try and grok our d-d-dialect,
I'm not tryin' to cause a big s-s-sensation,
I'm just bloggin' 'bout my generation.

The Summer Of 69ing...

[Pre-amble: yes, the title is a pun on the Bryan Adams song "Summer of '69". However did you guess?]

Ah, summer. Time of the summer romance, so called because it is a romance that occurs in summer. Well duh, what did you expect?

I speak of the summer romance since by far the largest thing that has happened since last we spoke is that I am now in a relationship with this girl, who I love. She never ceases to make me smile with her creativity and her all round wack-ness. And for some reason this beautiful, intelligent person is going out with a schmock (thank you to my Jewish relatives for that term) like me. Funny how things turn out, eh? But I wouldn't change it for the world.

So what's news? Christmas came around once again, bringing with it a tide of cheap, commercialised sentiment and appropriate Hallmark Cards. I did quite well this year - my two favorite presents being a 16GB iTouch, and Guitar Hero World Tour, which has had the net result of improving both my drumming prowess, and my ability to ignore people fo large periods of time.

The little-people woke me insanely early in their quest for presents, and although their approaches are naturally very cute, there is a certain time of morning when I will NOT move, come hell, high water, or Jessica Alba in the nude. Unfortunately, it was this time at which they chose to wake me.

I also had a prolonged discussion with my sister about what Christmas meant. She's five, and already understands a hell load more than I did at her age. She's also quite good at Guitar Hero. I am SO getting her one of these.

About a week later was the 18th. Not, like, the date (which was clearly not the case), but my 18th - 18 years since I clawed my way out of my mother's womb. I spent New Year's Eve at Thor's (it's not a club, I seriously have a friend called Thor), and despite the absence of Bethany, who would have made the evening perfect, it was actually rather fun, although Thor didn't make good on the promise to join us in a drink of champaigne at midnight (lies! All lies! When will the lies end?).

My actual 18th was a laid back affair (to be honest, we did NOTHING, and then went out for dinner at Lygon Street, where we ran into comedian Eddie Perfect, taking a night off from "Shane Warne, The Musical"). I got some very nice books, DVDs, and some very useful vouchers.

Oh, that's the other thing. For Christmas my cousins gave me Seasons One of "Boston Legal", and then for my birthday Season Two. They sure as hell got that one right! "DENNY CRANE!"

I was going to post some New Year's Resolutions, but since I really don't believe that the will ever last more than a week before being discarded (and because everyone else is), I won't. Suffice to say I definitely want to spend more time with Bethany, who is my muse. I do love her.

Au Revoir, and I will update more frequently (I've just been busy!),
Nick

Birth Of A New Era...

Drunken dialing/texting is inappropriate, degrading and humiliating for all involved, right?

WRONG. Drunk dialing/text is hilarious, always the sensible option, and the perfect way to let that girl you have secretly liked for ages but could never bring yourself to actually ask out because it "might ruin your friendship" exactly how you feel about her, in all its (supposedly, at least to you) romantic, yet sometimes incoherent, detail. It also allows you, free from inhibition, to tell your boss how much of a cock he is, and just think of the humor that will stem from your inability to look your female cubicle dwellers in the eyes!

With all this hilarity, it's just too bad that the only people who can share the laughter are the dialer themselves, and the receiver.

BUT, after much research and work, there is finally a solution! A new pseudo-sport (which has a much nicer ring than drinking game) which I have simply called Dritter.

Dritter comes from the words drunk (being in a temporary state in which one's physical and mental faculties are impaired by an excess of alcoholic drink; intoxicated) and twitter (a real-time short messaging service that works over multiple networks and devices, allowing for the instant upload of 120 characters to the internet). As this name would suggest, to drittering is an update of the classic drunken dial that allows for the hilarity to be shared instantaneously by multiple individuals, completely unrestrained, via the internet.

So how does one dritter? What factors are crucial in developing my final score?

Firstly, in order to Dritter one must have a Twitter account. After all, one can hardly drunken dial without a telephone; nor can one Dritter without a Twitter. All one does then to participate is take with them on an evening spent painting the town red a cellular phone, or other device which allows for connection to Twitter. When one reaches the stage where one would normally inform one's friend that, where they so inclined, they would be "totally into you, seriously, I love you man", one instead sends the text to Twitter, whereupon its hilarity may be enjoyed by the manifold public who monitor the same.

Scoring in Dritter is based upon the following criteria: Coherency versus the Number of Drinks Consumed (graph to follow shortly), whether or not it reveals anything particularly Embarrassing or Personal, and the all round Humor of Content. Five points are awarded immediately if the following day they are unable to remember making the Dritter, and two points are deducted for deletion of the Dritter.

The scoring shall be judged by an unbiased third party, hereafter refereed to as the Dritter Marshal, who will also, assumingly, be the designated driver (the mentalities required for both are very similar). They will have the final say. If, however, it is voted by all concerned that the Dritter Marshal has failed to perform their duty satisfactorily, then an appeal may be made to a jury of peers, and only a unanimous decision by this jury can overturn the decision of the Dritter Marshal.

It is also the Dritter Marshal's responsibility to ensure that no lasting harm will befall the contestants as a result of either the alcohol consumed, or the contents of the Dritter. Should he/she feel that this is likely to occur, they are required to cease Drittering, and care for the Dritter-e as required. This decision cannot be repealed.

All that remains then is to say good luck, happy Drittering, and if you have any questions you can find me at the bar...

Ain't No Cure For The Summer Time Blues...

My summer playlist (which will be on constant repeat for my two week break at the beach in Broulee):

1. All Bad Touches (Come To An End) - Norwegian Recycling

2. Poker Face - Lady Gaga

3. Heaven Is A Halfpipe - OPM

4. Teenage Dirtbag - Wheatus

5. Stacy's Mom - Fountains of Wayne

6. Ruby - Kaiser Chiefs

7. I Think I'm Paranoid - Garbage

8. This Heart Attack - Faker

9. The Nosebleed Section - Hilltop Hoods

10. Spice Up Your Life - Spice Girls

11. We're All In This Together - Ben Lee

12. Taylor - Jack Johnson

13. Save Tonight - Eagle Eye Cherry

14. MmmBop - Hanson

15. We Used To Be Friends - Dandy Warholes

Au Revoir.

Huh...Someone Thinks I'm Funny...

Just a short announcement (real blog coming later) to let you all know that I'm taking part in RAW Comedy this year, and will be performing at The Espy on January 24th. I'll let you know more as it becomes apparent.

HA!

Saw this webcomic today and just laughed and laughed and laughed: