Musings...

Moving...

2010-04-21T14:51:00.001+10:00

So yeah, I've moved to http://www.npljones.wordpress.com. See you over there!

In Which Nick Makes A Mistake, And Learns The Real Meaning Of Tight-Arse Tuesday...

2009-08-11T15:51:00.002+10:00

Forgive me, Cinema, for I have sinned.

It had all the elements neccessary - the weather is crap, I have a day off and nothing to do, it's Tight-Arse Tuesday so I get a generous discount - why then must you curse me with this TRAVESTY against CINEMATOGRAPHY?

I'll start again: today, I went and saw "G.I. Joe".

I had been warned - David, of "At The Movies" gave it a fairly damning review, but, fool that I was, I thought to myself "It can't be *that* bad. He's always critical. That's his job."

I'd recieved better suggestions - I asked Twitter what I should see, and I recieved glorious praise of "Coraline". And I thought to myself "Nah, I can convince Mum to see that with me. Better pick something only *I* will want to see."

I am clearly an idiot.

I don't want to talk about what happened in the film, I'll address that, possibly, when I calm down, but I give unto you all one piece of advise: you can ignore me on everything else, but I will die happy if you DO NOT SEE THIS FILM.

A Funny Thing Happened On My Way Here Today...

2009-08-04T15:05:00.005+10:00

Well, not really, quite the opposite, but my other working-title - "Git-Boy In Bike Bust-Up" - doesn't really have the same...je ne se qua. Let us leave it there, and engage then in the tail at hand, which does have a slightly humorous end:

As some of you know (or, we shall pretend you do!), I've taken to riding my bicycle to and from Uni - it's only about 40 minutes, there and back, it's good for me, and it allows me to spend money in ways more productive than allowing it to be sucked into the spiralling vortex of doom we affectionately and optimistically call our public transport network.

My bicycle I've had since I was about 15 - along the way it's had a few repairs, needed a new seat, had a couple of lights stuck on, but it is, essentially, the bike I have had for three years, and keep in the garage, out of the rain.

This morning, on my way to Uni, and speeding through a busy intersection, I happened to misjudge my turn, and found myself flying uncontollably towards a sign by the side of the road. Cooly, I pulled on the brakes and...well, they did sweet bugger all.

At speed, then, flinging my hands out in front of my face - it would be a shame were my good-looks lost to the world - I painfully collided with the sign, filling the air with language that would make a sailor blush, and educating the small children disembarking the crowded train on the other side of the road, and severely injuring my left hand, covering my right in scratches, and damaging both my legs.

Lying face-down on the pavement, bleeding profusely, I was approached by an middle-aged gentlemen, who asked, completely straight-faced, "Are you alright?"

AM I ALRIGHT? AM I ALRIGHT?! I'VE JUST COLLIDED WITH A ROAD-SIGN, AM BLEEDING QUITE HEAVILY ALL OVER MY BODY, AND CAN'T FEEL MY RIGHT LEG, AND YOU'RE ASKING IF I'M ALRIGHT? OF COURSE I AM! I'M FANTASTIC! HOW ABOUT YOU?

I love people some times.

Au Revoir,
Nick

My Mother And Other Monsters...

2009-08-03T13:39:00.001+10:00

*peers around cautiously* Man, I haven't been here in a while *blows away dust* Here, that bett- OH GOD THE SPIDERS!!!

Haha, no.

I just needed a little time off - I was notoriously uninspired, and suffering a cliched bout of teenage angst (for which you will excuse me - it is rather expected of one, and I am nothing if not curtious in obliging). I'm okay, and I'm going to launch myself back into blogging more regularly - I find writing theraputic, and besides, I may as well do something with all my free time!

It's intriguing to me now that I had such difficulty writing - everything that surrounds me seems suddenly so unique, and inspiring that I am amazed I didn't notice it before. Seguing back to our title, in fact, the source of today's blog is my mother.

My mother is a thoroughly remarkable woman, and undoubtably one of the strangest, quirkiest, and hilarious person I know.

My favorite anecdote about her involves a trip to the Comedy Festival some years ago (I believe we were seeing Adam Hills). Waiting outside the venue, tossled back-and-forth by other members of the public, eager to get inside, my younger brother asked, innocently, "Mum, is this stand up comedy?". Completely dead-pan, and vaguely, as if she hadn't really heard, she responded "No dear, we get seats".

It was brilliant. The timing, and the delivery were just exceptional, and I've been trying to emulate them to this day.

So, class, today's lesson is that inspiration can be found everywhere, and that I'm back, baby!

Au Revior,
Nick

Nick Goes To The Movies...

2009-06-08T17:45:00.003+10:00

In recent times, I've gone to see two very different film, which have two things in common: I didn't enjoy them, and they both had actresses in them that, yes, alright, I kind of have a thing for.

First off, "Night At The Museum 2".

Okay, I was already slightly biased against the film before I went in: I didn't think the first film was all that good, and, quite frankly, Stiller annoys the crap out of me.

But I had some help: accompanying me was my six year old sister, and seven year old brother - surely, the people to whom this film was aimed, right?

Wrong.

In order to truely appreciate NATM2, you needed to be a lot older than they, and if you're old enough to appreciate the humor, then you really won't be enjoying the film, because, let's face it, it's kinda stupid, and you could be seeing, say, "Angels & Demons", which, admittedly, was a steaming turd of a film, but at least it was aimed at us, right? That's my line, and I'm sticking to it.

What did I enjoy about it? Well, Hank Azaria was pretty good as the bad guy, although with the speech impediment I really couldn't take him seriously - maybe this was the point, but it wasn't like, "haha, he talks funny, and that makes his villainy comical", but "hmmm, he'd be more menacing if he wasn't a complete joke".

Bill Hader was a very good General Custer, who delivered, the only good line of the film - "We're Americans - we don't think, we do".

Steve Coogan and Owen Wilson continue the tiny-person-with-big-personality schtick from the first film, which is, as ever, disappointing, because Coogan can be ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS but isn't given the chance, and Wilson is, dare I say, quite a good actor (for a "pretty boy"!) in the right roles, and this really wasn't.

Ricky Gervais. Fuck you, I love him.

The Jonas Brothers win my "Fuck Off, I Hate You And Hope You Die Horribly" award for Most Annoying, And Irrevevant Cameo".

But the one thing which saves this film from me traveling back in time and making sure everyone associated with it, and I mean absolutely everybody, including, but not limited to, the guy who waited uppon Ben Stiller that one time in a restaurant and commented that his kids enjoyed his work, all the way up to Stiller himself, are never born, is Amy Adams.

I kinda have a huge thing for Amy Adams.

I really do.

And in this film she wears an outfit, the lower half of which, ummm...leaves very little to the imagination. As an already hot for her fanboy, I almost passed out from loss of blood

So I didn't really pay that much attention to the film, and just spent the whole time sighing, and giggling awkwardly.

Also, my co-critics thought it was stupid, and, as it's target audience, I trust them on this.

END UNIMPRESSED REVIEW ONE. COMMENCE THE SECOND.

"State of Play".

Look, you can all guess where I'm going with this, but I'm going to get it out of the way now, so those of you who don't want to sit through the rambling rant of a review can...I don't know...go play with your fucking texs or something.

I like Rachel McAdams, she has a cute face, and nice eyes.

And now for the film itself:

I found it thoroughly unconvincing, predictable and cliched. I didn't enjoy either Affleck, or Crowe, and the plot was laughable, and forced. My hat off to Helen Mirren, though, who was actually brilliant, but, then, she always is. And she didn't get enough lines.

This time, I was with two people who had a vested interest (former journalists) who tell me that Crowe managed to get all the little journalistic quirks just right, but, and maybe it was just me, I really didn't believe his performance.

Same applies to Affleck - oh please, spare me.

Anyone looking for unpredictable twists, and exciting action, try "Terminator-" wait, is it four now? First one was good, the other two I've chosed to disregard the existence of.

Anywho, back to SoP - as a mystery, "who-dunnit", conspiracy-theory film, it was terribly predictable - it took me, oh, ten seconds to guess - and the money could've been better spent buying the audience 127 minutes worth of Weed; it may be illegal, but so should being that crap.

ACTUALLY, my disappointment with these two films have lead me, in their way, to something I've been saying for years - we just don't make films like we used to, just as Crowe tries to convince us we don't make journalists like we used to.

Actually, back to that - fuck you, I know I have a vested interest, but online journalism, and blogging, is just as legitimate form of journalism, so, to everyone in the audience who, when Rachel's character was introduced as working for their online division as a blogger, laughed and thought "haha, she really is an inexperienced rookie", I forgive you, because, I know that, under your laughter, really you're scared of the big bad internet because, honestly, you don't understand it, and that frightens you.

I'm going to stop now, because I'm starting to ramble, but, in the not to distant future I'll be talking about how I don't like modern cinema, but not just because it's modern, and why the internet is a serious media tool in blogs of their own - but if you're interested, comment, or email, and we can continue the discussion.

Until next time, then,
Au Revoir

Well, Quite...

2009-06-07T03:32:00.003+10:00

Aww...

I promised you a month of blogging, but I wussed out half-way.

What's that? Real life took a priority?

You better believe it.

In the last month, I have gone through so much SHIT you would not believe. Most of it, only a select few of you will learn, but, for everyone, I wish to stress that it has been a VERY STRESSFUL month.

A starts with an angry, anti-everyone rant? It better be pretty awesome, otherwise I will totally NEVER READ IT AGAIN out of latenet agression, and latent homosexuality. Hey. You're pretty cute. Whatcha doin' tonight?

hathatwaslamelet'snotfocusonitandmoveon...

Ah, firstly, a quiz I stole from Orla, aka Glitterandmoredoom, aka this girl:

How do you dot your i's?With dots.

You were expecting love-hearts, but I'm just not that person.

Do you get the trick in the song If You Seek Amy by Britney Spears?
Yes.

For the record - parents who let their children listen to Britney Spears are deplorable, and should be shot.

Who was the last person you sat with at a resturaunt?
My AWESOME girlfriend, her parent, and her grandmother.

What were you doing at midnight last night?
Watching "Letterman".

What happened at 10:00 AM?
Heading off to the city to see my girlfriend! YAY!

Last time you saw your blood dad?
About 11 hours ago...

Say your last ex runs up to you and hugs you, what do you do?
Give her a hug, and ask how she's been.

Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
Possibly my mother...

Have you ever taken someone back after they hurt you?
No, and I don't think I would...

Are you happy with your life at the moment?
Ah...yes.

Are you jealous of your siblings?
Of that little bugger? Never!

Have you kissed anyone this past week?
Yes, and I love her!

Who was the first person you talked to today?
My mother.

Is your hair longer than your shoulders?
Um...yes...

Will you be in bed within twenty minutes?
Probably.

Do you crack your knuckles?
Sometimes...

How much money did you spend today?
13.70.

What will you be doing tomorrow?
Seeing my girlfriend!

Did you ever waste too much time on a certain boy or girl?
No. Anytime I spend with my girlfriend is incredible.

What is the first thing you did this morning?
Woke up...several times...

Do you miss someone?
Yes.

Do you sometimes watch the news?
Yes, often. But it depresses me...

Are you currently feeling the need to tell someone something?
Every moment...

What color was the last pill you took?
White. I think it was a Panadol. Or was it? =P

Do you like hugs?
I fraking LOVE hugs!

Are you a loud person?
HELL YES! THIS IS MY LOUD VOICE!

Are you cold, warm or just right at the moment?
Just right ^-^

Are you mad/frustrated at anyone right now?
Nope, pretty content, actually.

Hmmm...

Content is rare...

Why did you last cry?
Frustration.

Do you get distracted easily?
...

Have you ever broken someone's heart?
I hope not.

If you can't sleep at night, what thought is keeping you awake?
My thinking.

Is there something you wanna let go of?
Yes, but what it is, I won't say...

Your current relationship status?
Taken, because I'm totally in love, and she loves me back...

How many cats do you have?
One. Potentially. It's Schroedinger's...

That was a nerd joke.

If you got it, PLEASE comment.

Are you thinking of someone right now?
Always.

Are you currently frustrated with a boy or girl?
No.

Do long distance relationships work?
According to HIMYM, it's a lie teenager's tell each other to get laid, but I'd like to think it could work...

Are you slowly drifting away from someone close?
I don't know...

Do you prefer warm or cold weather?
Cold.

Actuallly, that seems enough for now, although I will slide in some cross promotion for my psuedo blog, www.questforglobaldomination.wordpress.com. Did you see it? It was subtle.

I wish "Sarcastica" was a font"...

Au Revoir,
Nick.

#15 - And it's on time! gasp

2009-05-15T15:04:00.002+10:00

The reason it's on time is because it's done at the back of my class on Friday, using the MUCH BETTER INTERNET.

Today I didn't wake up until 12, then I rode a bike to uni and was given a free pitcher of beer which, having consumed, I then proceeded to class.

I've managed to get away with slight inebriation for nearly two hours, and I think I can keep up the facade for the hour until this class ends.

So far in this lesson I have:
- isolated myself from females by calling "beauty products" "vanity products", and asking if anyone is really that vain.
- Twittered
- Youtubed
- watched BlogTv
- updated this blog
- eaten much chocolate and marshmallows
- avoided work
- admitted that I want to sell out to the "Dark Side"

Afterwards, I'm going to pedal home, get a nice glass of something expensive, and some foreign cheese, and curl up, protected from the cold and rain, to watch "Serenity". Yes, I finally found a copy of that film, and it was free.

I may also later watch "Castle". You may notice both of these have a common theme: Nathan Fillion. I am, quite probably, gay for him.

There we go - didn't expect me to admit I was gay for someone, did you?

#14 - The Real Deal...

2009-05-14T23:11:00.002+10:00

Ah. So as you may have guessed from my earlier comments, I'm quite unimpressed with the internet in our household. Which is why I didn't get to blog yesterday, much to my regret.

I had a weird dream last night - it was actually more like and advertisement. And I'll share it with you now:

All of the world's leaders are gathered in the Whitehouse for some reason - I'm not quite sure what, exactly, but it was clearly some sort of world peace conference, or that sort of thing.

Anyway, it's clearly going badly, but such is the nature of anything that involved Kim Jong Ill - he isn't dead, by the way.

Obama is holding his head in his hands, looking worried. Suddenly, a muscular security agent burst in through the door, and declares "We've got it, Mr. President!" He runs over to the desk, and holds out his hand. There's a pause. Then he dramatically opens it, revealing...

A container of Doritos Salsa.

Suddenly cages with dancing girls drop from the ceiling, and all the leaders start dancing. Obama turns to face me and says "It just ain't a party without Doritos and Salsa!"

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HEAD? I CAN HANDLE NORMAL CRAZY, BUT WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS???

#13 in the late afternoon of the 14th...

2009-05-14T17:13:00.002+10:00

I hate my internet.

Seriously.

I am very, VERY angry with it right now.

I have sent it to its room, with no super.

Hopoefully, it will think about what it has done, and this will not have to happen again.

Real blog later.

#12, Although It's On The 13th...

2009-05-13T00:32:00.001+10:00

Okay, so I missed my deadline by half an hour. BIG. WOOP.

I'd like to blame my lateness on something justifiable, something that'll make you say, "That's okay, Nick - please take all the time you need."

As it is, I was watching a very enjoyable Tom Hanks on "Letterman". I'm not sure if that's justifiable, but it certainly was fun.

How was today?

Today was a mixture of the crushing low that usually comes with my continued existence in the meaningless scenario, and the high of my two hour radio slot.

I played a fairly good mixture of tunes, and also got in my first ever request. I figured out a system for doing requests, so I felt pretty good about that.

I also felt pretty good because I managed to get in a couple of glasses of very, VERY nice and EXPENSIVE bubbly.

Chin-chin,
Nick

#11 - I Think I've Figured It Out...

2009-05-11T09:58:00.003+10:00

I think I've figured out the reason I've been so depressed recently:

My life, currently, has very few high points.

Let us take a normal day: I get up, I eat, I do work, I watch TV, I sleep. On some days, I'll have my course, but only three days a week. The other days will be doing "work" (and yes, I'm entitled to use the sarcastic quotation marks) for the course.

I usually do the work quite slowly - not, and I want to make this clear, NOT because it is in any way challenging, but because I really can't be fucked. It's insultingly easy.

I'm stuck in a rut, I'm going nowhere.

My week perks up on Saturdays, and for two hours every Tuesday (when I sit behind a microphone, saying whatever the fuck I want to say, and playing some kick-arse rock), but other than that, it's just the same tiresome, troublesome shit day in, day out.

I write this from one of my classes. Cath is a lovely person, and I could learn a lot from her, but I feel held back because I have a very select interest/though process which other do not share.

*sigh*

IN OTHER NEWS: I will soon be starting another blog - really just a collection of pieces of writing - called "Who Moved My Valium", a title which I stole from a fellow Twitterer. It's just another one of my attempts to releave the tedium. Hopefully it will be good, certainly it will be interesting...

#10 - Meh...

2009-05-10T21:43:00.004+10:00

I'd like to paraphrase parts of the Jonathan Coulton song "Big Bad World One" which perfectly sum up my feelings right now:

I quit.
I'm done.
I don't think it's gonna turn out okay.
It's no fair.
It's no fun.
Everytime it's gonna end the same way:
Me zero, big bad world one.

I feel so apa-bloody-thetic, and very depressed right now.

I need to write.

I need to sleep.

I need to drink to excess.

#9 - ...And I Feel Fine!

2009-05-09T23:29:00.002+10:00

Saw my girlfriend today.

And all is right in the world!

#8 - Day Off...

2009-05-08T21:33:00.002+10:00

Sometimes you need to take some time out to do things you enjoy.

Today was one of those times.

But, to be completely and utterly honest with you, it just wasn't enough.

I'm tired, I just wanna see my girlfriend, watch some TV, and sleep. It's been an exhausting week, even though I haven't had much work.

Oh well.

#7 - Irony...

2009-05-07T23:38:00.002+10:00

What I have done today:

Achieve a mark of 100% on a Responsible Server of Alcohol Certificate.

What I have subsequently done:

Got drunk.

IRONY OVERLOAD!

#6 - Childish...

2009-05-06T22:52:00.002+10:00

Sometimes, in moments of intense boredom, I'll try to break the silence by regressing to my childhood.

I have a little hand puppet that I'll talk to, and, thanks to the magic of ventriloquism, will talk back.

When I'm emotionally drained, I have a huge, pink piggy that I'll hug.

Other times, I'll just watch cartoons until I'm feeling better.

#5 - Made Of Awesome (Musically!)...

2009-05-05T17:16:00.002+10:00

So today was my first ever show for 3SSR.

IT WAS A RESOUNDING SUCCESS!

I mean, oh my God, I had so much fun, I played some really good track, and I got some really positive feedback, both from those listening at home (or who follow me on Twitter) and those on campus who stopped by to give me a thumbs up. Big fun!

I need to work on my segueing a bit more - I was nervous, and I think it showed - but I managed to get a couple of good little liners in there, and some quick, cheeky gags, so I'm definitely off to a good start.

For those wondering what I'm babbling on about:

I host a show called "The Seeker" on 3SSR, every Tuesday from 12-2pm, go to www.3ssr.org and click "Tune in Live" link. I'm after the Uni's feminists - lovely girls - so it's usually a very relaxing/combative blasting of ROCK.

#4 - The Madness Continues...

2009-05-04T23:36:00.002+10:00

So I was watching television-

Oh there's a real fucking surprise!

Who are you?

I'm you. Well, sort of. Not really. But kind of.

You're me?

Pretty much.

Right. Anyway - I was watching television-

*ahem*

What?

Oh nothing.

No, no - you wanted to say something?

I was just going to point out that you watch, for someone who is in need of a job, and allegedly is studying, an incredible amount of television. Perhaps you could, you know, do something productive?

At quater to twelve at night?

Yeah, fair point. Alright. Are you going to tell them about the radio thing?

Oh yeah.

As I- Sorry, I'm still a little confused...

Yes it was you.

-Right. As I reminded myself (there has to be a word for that) I managed to score myself a two hour show on Swinburne's Student Radio from 12-2pm every Tuesday, doing whatever I want, and playing all my music. Which is sweet.

You can listen to me by going here and following the links.

Have I forgot anything?

No, that's it for now.

#3 - My Day...

2009-05-03T21:49:00.002+10:00

Today was a Sunday.

On Sunday, some people pray. Some, like my girlfriend, have OVERWHELMING AMOUNTS OF WORK, I MEAN, THANK GOD I'M OUT OF ALL THAT- ahem. Sorry, I got a little carried away there.

Some people achieve things.

I lay on my bed and watched cartoons on the 'net.

Later, I'll grab some cornchips, soft-drinks, and watch a movie. I'll do something meaningful tomorrow.

#2 - Something Important To Me...

2009-05-02T23:49:00.002+10:00

Ah-ha! You though I wasn't going to make it, BUT I DID! I should warn you though, since I need my beauty sleep, this is going to be spectacularly brief. I'll make it up to you sometime, okay? Sheesh.

I just spent an awesome day with my absolutely fantastic girlfriend, Bethany.

For once, a rare occurance - I had money! It feels good to have the freedom that money offers. I can see myself getting use to it. Now to work on getting some more money...

Blatantly Ripped-Off, But With Love...

2009-05-01T13:46:00.003+10:00

A friend of mine and fellow blogger(I don't know why I'm being so mysterious and dramatic about it - in fact, in order to lessen any stress related to attempting to unveil the identity of this mysterious individual, I'll just tell you who it is, okay? It's Liv) just completed Blog Every Day April last night.

Another (who SHALL remain nameless - I can't give you EVERYTHING) completed Vlog Every Day April (just. There were a couple of nail-biting moments).

I was impressed by the dedication they were both able to show to completing this task!

I've often been tempted by concepts such as this - last year I did Nanowrimo, and I've oft considered B/VEDA. However, my need to assert my individuality has stopped me thus far, because EVERYONE IS DOING IT.

And so, in that spirit, and with a cheeky "Screw you all, I'm Nick Jones", I give to you Blog Every Day MAY.

I wonder if I'll get arrested for copyright infringement? That's right - this blog may be illegal. Oh yeah. 'cause that's how I roll.

Things (Stuff, If You Will)...

2009-04-28T23:10:00.001+10:00

As I write this, I'm watching "Eli Stone". I don't know why, I can't connect with any of the characters, and I think the premise is insane, but so what, I'm doing it anyway.

The opener to this post proves two things, which will form the body of the day:
1) I watch a fair amount of television.
2) I'm becoming a creature of impulse (the more important of the two).

Let us deal with these numerically, as is our traditional method.

I watch a fair amount of television. Why? Perhaps it's my intense frustration with the real world - absence of employment, lack of challenge in my course work, only being able to see my absolutely incredible girlfriend once a week - that lead me to seek the escape that the fantastical realm of television can provide*.

Maybe it's also that there really are a lot of good shows on at the moment!

Boredom - Look What It's Done To Me...

2009-04-22T13:13:00.003+10:00

I'm blogging from the back of a class. I also just updated my Dailybooth from the back of class. The teacher DOES NOT CARE that I am doing these things. Perhaps she wants out as well...

Had a meeting with the student counsellor today. This name is true in both senses; firstly, she counsels students, secondly, she herself is a counseling student.

While some may be worried that a lack of years of experience may hinder the effectiveness of such an endeavor, I personally am grateful for it. Two reasons; firstly, she isn't jaded by years of dealing with people far off the mental rail, or walking cliches, and secondly, she managed to notice almost immediately that I clearly have problems - something which took my previous consult some time!

I was there primarily to discuss my almost total apathy and condescending attitude towards my current course of study - to put simply, me big time bored. This does not appear something which is going to change in the foreseeable future.

Also, the narcissism and sociopathy, but mostly the apathy.

I'm not sure how I feel about this process, but I think it contributes something to the rich and beautiful tapestry that is Nick Jones. An air of mystique, perhaps? A pseudo-intellectual acceptance of my own shortcomings? An extended conglomerate of quasi-pretentious, multi-syllabic drivel? All quite possible...

Other than that, today is good because I managed to get free food. The SSAA were giving out pizza, and I had coupons for food at Grill'd.

Funny how the highlight of my day so far has been food...

Au Revoir.

Amuse Me...

2009-04-19T15:47:00.002+10:00

Wow - so my weekend has gone from super-mega-busy-but-still-kinda-cool awesome to "can I have another bath?" "no, you've already had three. Do some knitting" boredom.

Friday was good. Friday I went around to Bethany's and we made cupcakes for Paddy's 18th that night which James, drunkenly, proclaimed were "fucking delicious...where'd they all gooooooooo?"

To answer that question: he had eaten them.

Maybe it was the fact that I was doing it with my fantastic girlfriend [editorial note: heh. I didn't mean for it to sound like that, if I did, I would have used quotation marks] but making the cupcakes filled me with a joy I haven't felt since I was small - a wonderful, giggly happiness. And I got to eat some of the leftover cakemix/frosting, which was awesome.

Friday night was, as stated, Paddy's 18th. There was music (thank you Tom) and dancing and much merriment. And Bethany got to meet Charlie IRL, which was kind of funny from an outsider perspective.

I also managed to catch up with a couple of people I hadn't seen in a while, which was good.

I didn't get any sleep that night - a few of us staying over ended the evening watching "Karate Kid" - because I had to get home early so we could go to lunch with the Grandparents. Both seemed well, and happy, and I managed to get a few hours sleep in the car. I also picked up a couple of nice antique shot glasses at a store in Castlemaine, so it was a good day.

Right now, though, I'm lying on the couch, trying to entertain myself until 6:00, when I'm seeing "OSS 117" at James's. I'll probably go for a walk.

Catch, etc!

A Quick Question...

2009-04-18T18:56:00.002+10:00

So the new film is "Fast & Furious".

The first one was "The Fast & The Furious".

Then came "Too Fast, Too Furious", then "Fast & Furious: Tokyo Drift".

Am I the only one hanging out for "Fucking Fast & Furious"?

Ah, Fun...

2009-04-16T21:03:00.002+10:00

So last night...yeah, I got drunk.

Normal people would be ashamed by this. But we looooooong ago established that I'm not normal. That said, I'd had a difficult evening, and I wanted to have me some fun, what with the giggling and the dancing. Yes, I enjoy myself when I drink. So let us continue.

Anywho, last night, during my extatical Twittering (oh yeah, I also use the internet - mostly Lolcatz), I made a promise (sort of) to Liv that I would read "Twilight" - I always promised myself that I would NEVER, EVER subject myself to that terrible teenage trash (booya!), and only went to see the movie because it could be seen as a compromise by my female friends, who went on, and on, and on about how dreamy Edward is, and how they wished they were Belle (if I got that wrong, it's because I REALLY DON'T GIVE A FUCK!)...sorry, got a little distracted.

Anywho - don't like "Twilight". Although, that baseball scene with "Super Massive Blackhole" was pretty cool. And yet I promised to read it. Why was that?

Oh yeah - in exchange for reading the book, she'd do voices for all the characters. Now I think that's something we can all enjoy.

Cheery bye!

An Unexpected Occurance...

2009-04-10T10:18:00.002+10:00

[The title refers to the updating to this blog, as opposed to something exciting and unexpected having occured. Sorry to give you false hope]

Friends of mine (okay, one) have been fully taken in by the concept of "Blog Every Day April" (in which they do as the name suggests, duh), which has lead to some fairly creative and unique posts, and also made me feel less ashamed that I am a stalker - if one places information in a way so readily available to all, then I don't have to spend my evenings hiding in dustbins, which is always a good thing.

Regular readers (if there are any of you!) will realise I'm joking. I don't spend my evenings in dustbins. I have far too much pride. Plus it's easier online.

Anyway, BEDA (as I understand the acronym to be) is partially the reason I write today. Many people are taking time out of their day to write something constructive, informative, and often entertaining about their lives - the least I can do is offer an "almost appology" where I don't actually say it.

Oh, while I'm referencing myself - I'm very impressed with the direction (US) "Life on Mars" has taken towards becoming it's own show. Well done!

Here's the life update you were all hanging out for (it's my blog, I'll write what I want to write, and you'll appreciate every nugget of wisdom, got it?):

I'm currently studying Bullshitology 101 (read "PR"), and loving every (well, figuratively) minute of it! PR is one of the few things that genuinely fills me with enthusiasm and eagerness (something I never thought I'd say about ANY form of learning), and am actually quite good at (one of my lecturers called me "a natural", although she may have meant to say "cynical bastard").

The other HUGE thing is my absolutely fantastic girlfriend Bethany, who I've now been with for three months - she makes me smile all the time (friends will be gasping at this point), and is unique, funny, and brilliantly creative. As well as being insanely HOT. Actually, I should have put this first because she is, without question, the single most important thing in my life.

I still live at home - many query why my quest for independence hasn't extended to my abode, and I tell them this: sometimes it's nice not to have to worry about big things, just crash into a bed with sheets someone has lovingly washed for you, and surround yourself with people who love you unconditionally.

To the more skeptical I say: " I have no money - are you offering to buy me a place?"

I haven't fixed my relationship with my step-mother, but I do get to see the kids, so really that situation is fine.

I've been finally getting enough sleep - I only have class three days a week, so there's time to catch up, should I miss any, and I usually drift off at a reasonable time. I finally feel less stressed, and more relaxed.

I haven't seen my shrink in a month, because I am too lazy to make an appointment, and the same effect can be gained by printing off pictures of people's faces, sticking them to a pillow, and beating the crap out of them (and you can do it in the privacy of your own home!)

I've eased up on junk food - mostly because I have very little money (which is as good a reason as any!), but also because I've found a place that does amazing quality (and quite healthy) pizzas for only $4 right next to campus.

I'm going to wrap up there, because I've probably rabbited on long enough, and you don't want to spend your entire lives drabbed in my frustratingly dull (lack of) exploits, and the Olympics is coming up in a couple of years and I do want to watch it.

So appologies for any mistakes (I'm writting on my iPod Touch from the safety of my bef), look for my coming in May (I have some stuff lined up) and the next drink's on me.

Adieu.

A long time in the making...

2009-03-12T22:20:00.003+11:00

Okay. I could start this blog by appologising, but really, my real life is FAR more important than that of the internet. I do feel some guilt about leaving all of you (ha!) hanging about the ever important (ha!) ponderings of mine on modern society. The delightful scape-goat is that you chose to follow me, so I could pass any guilt of as your own. I'm not going to, 'cause that would be a cheap shot. Instead I'm going to do this "meta appology" thing, and mention how guilty I feel, without actually saying it. Meta = awesome.

Moving swiftly onwards: I'm currently watching the US version of "Life on Mars". I know that's immediate present, I'll move onto retrospective later. Although by the time that 9:30 Thursday I find myself in no condition to write "A Brief History of Time" - yay social life - it is, when considered on it's own, quite a brilliant series. When considered in comparison to the original, UK series, it's SHIT.

Here's the thing: for Christ sake! If you're going to do a version of a series for AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT CULTURE then PLEASE MAKE IT ORIGINAL. It should try to be something for the US audience - I appreciate I'm an ignorant Australian, but if it was a US series, it would be more like SVU. That show = awesome. Especially Elliot

Oh - when considered under it's individual merits, the US series is quite good. I don't know the lead actor's name, but he is very, very good. When considered under individual merits.

When it comes to comparison - English every time. I mean, the US actor CANNOT compare to John Simm. FUCK. Really it's just the UK version with US actors. And what is brilliant for the UK is FUCKING SHITE for the US. Sorry, but that's how it is. What'shisface cannot compare (sorry, I'lll wiki it) to John Simms.

Jason O'Mara. And I had to squint to write that. Worrying.

I think the point is that when you take an already existing idea, and trying to "Americanize" it, it becomes inherently shit. There it is.

But the US series of "Life on Mars", without a comparison, is vey good. And I do love the actors they have for it. But I do thing of the UK series, because you directly copy it, and the UK were better. There it is.

2009-01-03T22:10:00.003+11:00

People try to shut me d-d-down,
Just 'cause my musings get around,
Old folks act like total noobs,
Get off the net: you block the tubes!

Why don't you all d-d-disconnect,
And don't try and grok our d-d-dialect,
I'm not tryin' to cause a big s-s-sensation,
I'm just bloggin' 'bout my generation.

The Summer Of 69ing...

2009-01-03T19:40:00.002+11:00

[Pre-amble: yes, the title is a pun on the Bryan Adams song "Summer of '69". However did you guess?]

Ah, summer. Time of the summer romance, so called because it is a romance that occurs in summer. Well duh, what did you expect?

I speak of the summer romance since by far the largest thing that has happened since last we spoke is that I am now in a relationship with this girl, who I love. She never ceases to make me smile with her creativity and her all round wack-ness. And for some reason this beautiful, intelligent person is going out with a schmock (thank you to my Jewish relatives for that term) like me. Funny how things turn out, eh? But I wouldn't change it for the world.

So what's news? Christmas came around once again, bringing with it a tide of cheap, commercialised sentiment and appropriate Hallmark Cards. I did quite well this year - my two favorite presents being a 16GB iTouch, and Guitar Hero World Tour, which has had the net result of improving both my drumming prowess, and my ability to ignore people fo large periods of time.

The little-people woke me insanely early in their quest for presents, and although their approaches are naturally very cute, there is a certain time of morning when I will NOT move, come hell, high water, or Jessica Alba in the nude. Unfortunately, it was this time at which they chose to wake me.

I also had a prolonged discussion with my sister about what Christmas meant. She's five, and already understands a hell load more than I did at her age. She's also quite good at Guitar Hero. I am SO getting her one of these.

About a week later was the 18th. Not, like, the date (which was clearly not the case), but my 18th - 18 years since I clawed my way out of my mother's womb. I spent New Year's Eve at Thor's (it's not a club, I seriously have a friend called Thor), and despite the absence of Bethany, who would have made the evening perfect, it was actually rather fun, although Thor didn't make good on the promise to join us in a drink of champaigne at midnight (lies! All lies! When will the lies end?).

My actual 18th was a laid back affair (to be honest, we did NOTHING, and then went out for dinner at Lygon Street, where we ran into comedian Eddie Perfect, taking a night off from "Shane Warne, The Musical"). I got some very nice books, DVDs, and some very useful vouchers.

Oh, that's the other thing. For Christmas my cousins gave me Seasons One of "Boston Legal", and then for my birthday Season Two. They sure as hell got that one right! "DENNY CRANE!"

I was going to post some New Year's Resolutions, but since I really don't believe that the will ever last more than a week before being discarded (and because everyone else is), I won't. Suffice to say I definitely want to spend more time with Bethany, who is my muse. I do love her.

Au Revoir, and I will update more frequently (I've just been busy!),
Nick

Birth Of A New Era...

2008-12-14T18:13:00.004+11:00

Drunken dialing/texting is inappropriate, degrading and humiliating for all involved, right?

WRONG. Drunk dialing/text is hilarious, always the sensible option, and the perfect way to let that girl you have secretly liked for ages but could never bring yourself to actually ask out because it "might ruin your friendship" exactly how you feel about her, in all its (supposedly, at least to you) romantic, yet sometimes incoherent, detail. It also allows you, free from inhibition, to tell your boss how much of a cock he is, and just think of the humor that will stem from your inability to look your female cubicle dwellers in the eyes!

With all this hilarity, it's just too bad that the only people who can share the laughter are the dialer themselves, and the receiver.

BUT, after much research and work, there is finally a solution! A new pseudo-sport (which has a much nicer ring than drinking game) which I have simply called Dritter.

Dritter comes from the words drunk (being in a temporary state in which one's physical and mental faculties are impaired by an excess of alcoholic drink; intoxicated) and twitter (a real-time short messaging service that works over multiple networks and devices, allowing for the instant upload of 120 characters to the internet). As this name would suggest, to drittering is an update of the classic drunken dial that allows for the hilarity to be shared instantaneously by multiple individuals, completely unrestrained, via the internet.

So how does one dritter? What factors are crucial in developing my final score?

Firstly, in order to Dritter one must have a Twitter account. After all, one can hardly drunken dial without a telephone; nor can one Dritter without a Twitter. All one does then to participate is take with them on an evening spent painting the town red a cellular phone, or other device which allows for connection to Twitter. When one reaches the stage where one would normally inform one's friend that, where they so inclined, they would be "totally into you, seriously, I love you man", one instead sends the text to Twitter, whereupon its hilarity may be enjoyed by the manifold public who monitor the same.

Scoring in Dritter is based upon the following criteria: Coherency versus the Number of Drinks Consumed (graph to follow shortly), whether or not it reveals anything particularly Embarrassing or Personal, and the all round Humor of Content. Five points are awarded immediately if the following day they are unable to remember making the Dritter, and two points are deducted for deletion of the Dritter.

The scoring shall be judged by an unbiased third party, hereafter refereed to as the Dritter Marshal, who will also, assumingly, be the designated driver (the mentalities required for both are very similar). They will have the final say. If, however, it is voted by all concerned that the Dritter Marshal has failed to perform their duty satisfactorily, then an appeal may be made to a jury of peers, and only a unanimous decision by this jury can overturn the decision of the Dritter Marshal.

It is also the Dritter Marshal's responsibility to ensure that no lasting harm will befall the contestants as a result of either the alcohol consumed, or the contents of the Dritter. Should he/she feel that this is likely to occur, they are required to cease Drittering, and care for the Dritter-e as required. This decision cannot be repealed.

All that remains then is to say good luck, happy Drittering, and if you have any questions you can find me at the bar...

Ain't No Cure For The Summer Time Blues...

2008-12-08T23:26:00.002+11:00

My summer playlist (which will be on constant repeat for my two week break at the beach in Broulee):

1. All Bad Touches (Come To An End) - Norwegian Recycling

2. Poker Face - Lady Gaga

3. Heaven Is A Halfpipe - OPM

4. Teenage Dirtbag - Wheatus

5. Stacy's Mom - Fountains of Wayne

6. Ruby - Kaiser Chiefs

7. I Think I'm Paranoid - Garbage

8. This Heart Attack - Faker

9. The Nosebleed Section - Hilltop Hoods

10. Spice Up Your Life - Spice Girls

11. We're All In This Together - Ben Lee

12. Taylor - Jack Johnson

13. Save Tonight - Eagle Eye Cherry

14. MmmBop - Hanson

15. We Used To Be Friends - Dandy Warholes

Au Revoir.

Huh...Someone Thinks I'm Funny...

2008-12-08T18:10:00.001+11:00

Just a short announcement (real blog coming later) to let you all know that I'm taking part in RAW Comedy this year, and will be performing at The Espy on January 24th. I'll let you know more as it becomes apparent.

HA!

2008-12-04T17:11:00.004+11:00

Saw this webcomic today and just laughed and laughed and laughed:

With Apologies To All Concerned...

2008-12-02T12:29:00.002+11:00

I returned from Schoolies at Anglesea on Friday, and then went to the 18th of a friend that I haven't seen in far too long that evening. Suffice to say, the combination of a week of sleep deprivation, followed by the immensely exhausting, but entirely enjoyable hype of an 18th, as well as the effects of alcohol lead me to sleep for the next 17 hours.

Tragically, I'm forbidden by the Vegas Convention to discuss in any great length what actually took place in Anglesea, however much fun was had by all. The inclusion of Guitar Hero World Tour and Rockband made the whole even more enjoyable, and I dare say I became rather good on the plastic set of drums which, after very little sleep and much booze, do succeed in making you feel like a Rock-star.

That said, I hope never again to hear Eye Of The Tiger or Tom Sawyer. Unlike my dreams of a free Tibet or an end to world hunger and poverty, perhaps this one can be realized.

I will also say that Vodka, while in small dosages is okay, can lead to tragic, or at least VERY embarrassing consequences. Also, when correctly mixed, is almost tasteless...Although I do recommend that people try it with Waterford's Lemon Lime and Bitters, a combination which I find irresistible.

With Schoolies week behind me, however, a large and ominous vortex appears before me labeled "the rest of my life". Dealing with short term, immediate problems has so far held me in good stead, but once I get past the immediate concerns of Christmas, long term planning is necessary. I need to plan.

First on my list, a job. Tragically, either I am insufficiently qualified (having just left year twelve) or my application is lost among the many thousands of other, almost identical ones submitted online every day, and the anonymity of the web quickly allows for outright dismissal because I used a word the authority objects to, or some other petty reason. The job quest does not look hopeful.

On a somewhat lighter note, I've already written my letter to Santa. Well, I say "letter" - this year I twittered him:

Dear @Santa. This year for Christmas, can you please give me an iPhone?
I promise I've been good. I even installed Net Nanny so that I can't fall prey to naughty sites.
I avoided posting pics of me in various slutty poses on my Facebook.
Heck, I even avoided swearing in emails, even though after all those emails either asking for my credit card details or offering miracle cream to increase the size of Little Nick I really, really felt like it.
Oh, and I only called people Nazis once on forums, and I felt guilty about it for ages.
So please, @Santa. Bpay for an iPhone for me.

Au Revoir.

Blah - Metaphysical Concept, Or Just Laziness?

2008-11-15T19:48:00.003+11:00

Recent writing projects (particularly my attempt to do NaNoWriMo which only last three chapters...) have all managed to fail rather spectacularly, crashing to the ground right before my eyes and almost making me cry. Certain so-called "friends" would use this admission of failure to segue into a comment or insult such as "but that's just because you're a failure" etc, and possibly even "haha only girls cry" - although, admittedly, we're all making giant strides on the whole tolerance/racism/sexism thing. It's ironic, in a group as...individual as ours, but there you have it.

Maybe it's something to do with the crushing pressure of exams (which have actually constituted the major component of my "recent writing projects") forcing its way into my life until I am reduced to a gibbering wreck. Hopefully I can delay this descent into madness until after my Philosophy and Media Exams on Monday, and, if I'm REALLY lucky, until after I see "Quantum Of Solace" in Gold Class on Wednesday.

Despite all this failure, today has been a good one. I spent a large portion of it in the company of someone who never ceases to amuse me with her creative, and unique nature, and in anticipation of the arrival, two and a half hours late, of a friend whom I have known since year four. Much fun was had!

It seems that there are two things keeping me going right now:
1) Friends, and the humorous text messages I receive from one in particular.
2) Anticipation of the fact that it will all soon be over, and we will then proceed to a beach-house in Anglesea to break things, booze, surf and video game

Back on the topic of writing, intriguingly, my only success to date is a little parody of The Beatles hit "I've Just Seen A Face" which I penned while waiting for a train. Enjoy:

STALKING by Nick Jones
I've just seen a face I can't forget the time or place I saw it first,
There was a photo on her ID as I rummaged through her purse,
hmm mm mm mm mm mm

She's pretty, popular and smart, in short she's way above my class,
Since I can't talk to her I'll make do staring at her through her glass,
wi-i-i-i-in-dows

Stalking, yes I am stalking,
I'm staring at you from up a tree.

You'll never know just what you mean to me, you'll never be aware,
That time I bumped into you was so I could take some of your hair,
air air air air air air

I saw that photo that you posted on your Facebook page,
Although it's hot you shouldn't be doing that sort of thing at your age,
hey ey ey ey ey ey

And on your profile under “favourite bands” you say you like the Stones,
But yesterday in Gym you told your best friend you prefered Ramones,
Can you cla-arify?

Stalking, yes I am stalking,
Facebook and Google Maps are helping me.

Stalking, yes I am stalking,
Maybe one day, she'll talk to me.

Au Revoir.

Nick Jones - Novelist...

2008-11-02T17:02:00.002+11:00

I recently discovered the idea of Nanowrimo (wiki it if it sounds like random syllables), and it's inspired me to give novel writing a bit of a go myself, so the idea is that every day for a month I will write no less than 500 words and add it to a blog you can find here. By the end of the month, we'll have a complete story, which will be made into a pdf and freely distributed. If you have any ideas for characters or plot developments, suggestions, or just want to let me know your thoughts, please leave a comment on that sight, and if it works for me I'll try and include it.

Go over there now and check out the Epilogue I've already posted. Expect more every day for the next month!

THANKS, AND SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE,
Nick

2008-10-24T16:48:00.003+11:00

My life, at this current stage in time, seems a roller-coaster ride of jubilant, potentially drug induced (in some cases) highs, and moments of banging my head against the wall and querying "WHY? WHY? WHHHHHHHHHY?". [Note: these are rhetorical questions, please do not feel that you have to answer them]

While there is, of course, the immense relief that, after 13 years, my schooling is finally complete (hurrah, hurroo), there is of course the ever looming prospect of exams that, despite the insistence of everyone, have great and far-reaching consequences for the rest of my life, and are rapidly approaching like a train speeding down a tunnel. That, my friends, is what is causing the light.

Additionally, my overly active psyche, combined with the stress of impending doom, has rebelled against me, and left me with a psychosomatic illness. Hilariously, the disease IS in my head. Un-hilariously it has left me with a cough that rattles windows, causes passers-by to ask "is there an earthquake?", and has me in genuine fear that, if I am not careful I will cough out my lungs. Tragically ironic for one who has never even considered "taking a quick puff".

I also fluctuate rapidly between "deathly ill" and "drunkenly happy".

Still, I have at least the satisfaction of having seen Thor take a sip of red-wine. The gag reflex and expression of suffering that came ever so quickly to his face was pure gold. It is the little things that make us the most happy sometimes.

Au Revoir.

How are you...?

2008-10-20T16:40:00.003+11:00

As with every other day, mine began with the question "How are you?"

Unlike every other day, today I actually thought about it.

Is it that by asking this question we are seeking to become more connected with others? To feel as they feel, think as they think? Two bodies, sharing the one mind...Is it that really the human soul is a beautiful thing, and that we seek to better understand and love one another? Is it a quest for some intimate understanding? Are we searching for someone to say "it's alright. Your life my seem terrible, but everything is okay. I love you"?

Or is it merely just a shallow social requirement that absolves us of actually caring? Do we really seek, by asking others about themselves, to know less about them, maybe even nothing? Are we attempting an ignorance? Are we really viscous, shallow creatures that feign concern because of the positive repercussions for ourselves?

I answered, as I do every day, that I was fine.

Au Revoir.

Nick Jones, Internet Celebrity...

2008-10-15T21:24:00.003+11:00

Hey, it's better than Nick Jones, Child Molester.

Anywho, over the last few days I've created a couple of videos for Youtube, and I CERTAINLY intend to do more. Too much fun. Seriously.

It gives me an opportunity to vent my estranged opinions upon an unsuspecting world (like the super-villain I've always wanted to be) and it's really nice to get positive feedback, you know?

So check out my vids (you can find them by searching "Nick Jones" or videos by user nicko236. The latest one is about my hatred of Bagpipes), leave a comment, become a subscriber, and lets make this happen.

Au Revoir.

I've Never Been To Me (male version)

2008-10-10T20:46:00.001+11:00

Hey mister, hey mister
I just want a dime
‘Cause I need a cup of coffee and a moment of your time
I can tell your raising hell the way I used to do
But I wish someone woulda’ talked to me
Like I wanna talk to you

I’ve been to Georgia and California
Anywhere I could run
I stole a woman in Tennessee
and we made love in the sun
But I ran out of places and friendly faces
Because I had to be free
I’ve been to paradise but I’ve never been to me

Thanks mister, thanks mister
But please don’t walk away
‘Cause I have this need to tell you
Why I’m all alone today
I can see so much of me still living in your eyes
Won’t you share a part of an old mans heart
On the day before he dies

I’ve been to China & Asia Minor
On any ship that would sail
I made some noise with some good old boys
We wrecked a southern jail

I’ve seen the best men crawl and some teardrops fall
There ain’t nothing I ain’t seen
I’ve been to paradise but I’ve never been to me

I’ve even been to marriage
Where children cry for someone they couldn’t find
Never knowing that I was searching
For things I left behind

I thought my heart could wait
but I learned too late
Only love can make people free
I’ve been to paradise but I’ve never been to me

School, The Tenth Layer of Hell...

2008-10-07T22:35:00.003+11:00

Yes, that's a reference to Dante's Inferno. That's just how I roll. Literature style!

House Dinner and Chapel this evening which was an exercise in both futility and intense boredom. Thank you DR-P for keeping me company through the four plus hours of excruciating fun. And yes, it was excruciating.

My mother always told me to think positive. "What have you got out of this evening?" she asked. Well, what did I get? A rather nice tie, praise for my comedic ability from a mother ("You should be at Edinburgh", which was, actually, quite nice) and several free drinks. Actually, scratch that. Considering the amount of money I've given the school over the years, it's more accurate to say I bought the entire school, and parents and round. Of rather inferior quality, naturally. Please, in future, could you at least foot the bill for a decent Sauvignon Blanc? Signed Nick Jones, Student and Wine Connoisseur.

School is stressing me. Thank GOD (and I know for an atheist that's a little hypocritical, but so much easier than saying "Thank random fluctuations in space/time!") there's only about a month until exams are over and I never have to go back. I'm really looking forward to that. Although AP made a really good point, which almost made me feel better about going back - "it's the last first day of school ever".

Like I said, I was stressed yesterday. So I made a stress-cake.

And it was a HUGE SUCCESS. Seriously delicious and moist.

Yes, I listened to Jonathan Coulton while baking, because I'm a nerd.

Au Revoir.

Alaska, eh?

2008-10-05T21:22:00.003+11:00

Say what you like about Palin, she does make for good satire. Actually, the entire political process does.

Even Rove's getting in on it. It's just that easy!

Wicked...

2008-10-05T13:46:00.009+11:00

So as the more diligent reader (and here I'm humoring myself as I doubt I HAVE at least one diligent reader) will remember, I saw Wicked on Friday night. And I was so impressed, I actually BOUGHT the soundtrack. It's true. And it's on a permanent loop.

Let me start by telling you what Wicked is NOT. It is NOT The Wizard of Oz, although those aware with the work of L. Frank Baum and all the little munchkins will not be too alienated. While Baum's stories are somewhat more trivial, Disney-esque story of a simple farm-girl who goes on a fantastical voyage and learns that her heart's desires lie no further than her own back yard, complete with midgets and magic, Gregory Maguire's revisionist tome (my English teacher would be proud) is a much darker, serious piece.

Let me put it simply: so much happened before Dorothy dropped in.

Wicked tells the story of Elphaba, the "Wicked Witch of the West", and acts as a sort of precursor to Braum (although we are treated to some of the events of Dorothy's adventure, but rather than the story with which we are familiar, the bits Braum didn't write).

I won't ruin it, because I would urge anyone who hasn't to go and see it, and anyone who has is already contemplating going again, but I will say that it revolves around a brilliant, but different protagonist, who finds herself revolting against an aging tyrant's propaganda war and desperate attempts to cling to power. Along the way she will make friends for life, as well as find love, and sing some incredible musical numbers. Honestly, I am never going to see The Wizard of Oz the same again.

What particularly struck me about Wicked came from the Wizard himself early in Act Two. Some of the lyrics from his song Wonderful are included here:

WIZARD
(spoken) Elphaba, where I'm from, we believe all sorts of
things that aren't true. We call it - "history."

(sung) A man's called a traitor - or liberator
A rich man's a thief - or philanthropist
Is one a crusader - or ruthless invader?
It's all in which label
Is able to persist
There are precious few at ease
With moral ambiguities
So we act as though they don't exist

They call me "Wonderful"
So I am wonderful
In fact - it's so much who I am
It's part of my name
And with my help, you can be the same.

What amazes me is that in a two hour musical is willing to handle that kind of complexity, in fact begin to explore some very Machiavellian concepts, but in a form that audiences can easily understand, and, even more impressively, musically. And that's just touching the surface.

Individual performances: well done to Millsy as Fiyero (who has the somewhat ironic line "hey, this isn't an act. I really am that self-centered"), and the two stars Amanda Harrison as Elphaba and Lucy Durack as Galinda/Glinda. The cast felt alive and enthusiastic, and really got into their roles, although Durack's accent got exceedingly annoying (understandable, however, as her character IS a ditzy blonde...). Anthony Callea as the munchkin Boq, however, fell short (hahaha) of the mark.

It is of course a great tragedy that Rob Guest was missing as the Wizard. It is an immense loss, and I feel privileged to have seen Rob perform, in The Phantom Of The Opera, before he was taken from us.

Music: the songs were fantastic, the harmonies brilliant. I was notably impressed by the actors ability to slip in and out of dialogue and music, and make it seem so fluid and natural. Favorites for me are Wonderful (above) Popular and Defying Gravity. The comic banter in What Is This Feeling? had me in stitches, and Dancing Through Life is oddly poetic and beautiful.

Oh, and you can also get Ozmopolitans in cool green glasses with flashing lights.

All in all, I have to say SEE IT NOW!

Au Revoir.

10 Ways of Spending $22 Million That Don't Involve 'Leadership'...

2008-09-29T16:16:00.005+10:00

1) APS's retirement fund.

2) Launching an inquiry into what exactly it is that PF does. Alternatively, making sure she is never seen again.

3) Researching winged-monkeys. Oh come on. You know it would be awesome.

4) Building a missile. I'm ready to take our rivalry with Scotch that one step further.

5) Reducing the cost of education.

6) Hiring Al Gore to teach an Earth Studies Class.

7) Hiring Gordon Ramsey to run the cafeteria.

8) Prison uniforms for every student/Bars on every window/Weapons and Guard Uniforms for Prefects.

9) Cutting down the school's greenhouse gas/carbon emissions.

10) Aston Martin DB9s for all year twelves as a "going away" present.

Music & Lyrics...

2008-09-26T21:27:00.004+10:00

There are some bands that rock. Then there are those who rock you so hard that you will never, EVER be rocked again. I think you know who I'm talking about:

Oh yes.

I was playing Guitar Hero 3 (badly, according to my friends, although I protest that I'm a casual gamer) and I came across this frankly awesome song by The Kaiser Chiefs:

My iPod is stuck in the 90s, so it would be unfair to go further without mentioning one of the greatest songs of my childhood, with an awesome piano line (which, not meaning to boast or anything, I can play), and a pretty cool video (here)

For all the geeks out there, a little Jonathan Coulton:

And finally, for all the English students, the Doug Anthony All Stars have this interesting interpretation of a classic:

Au Revoir.

Fear For My Life...

2008-09-26T14:36:00.003+10:00

I think year 12 and VCE are trying to kill me.

No, I'm not crazy (well...not any more than usual), hear me out:

a) High levels of prolonged stress, caused by exams, SACs, miscellaneous assignments, etc, weakens the immune systems, leaving me highly susceptible to illness, with potentially lethal results. I could, quite possibly, die of a common cold.

b) Paper-cuts received from the large amount of print-outs, hand-outs, etc, will result in either:
i Blood loss leading to death.
ii Loss of a vital appendage.

[Side note: the reason that all of these rain-forests need to be cut down? VCE (to mangle a quote from Pokemon, a successful series about the enslavement of small animals and making them settle disputes with mortal combat), I blame you.]

c) My need for liquid caffeine (Coffee, Coca-Cola, etc) has left me open to poisoning. My sleepiness before consuming one of said beverages could lead me to ignore a potentially vital hint (i.e. that the coffee is green and foaming) with dire and fatal consequences.

d) Use of public transport could result in:
i Mugging/Potential Rape
ii Death by boredom
iii Death by being run-over
iv Death at the hands of increasingly Gestapo like Ticket Inspectors.

Au Revoir.

Trams, Trains and Ways of Passing The Time...

2008-09-23T21:52:00.005+10:00

Things I need to stop doing on Trams:

1) Making faces at babies to make them laugh. Eventually someone is going to misunderstand my desire to entertain their offspring.

2) Pretending to have multiple-personality disorder and having arguments with myself. Alternatively, start muttering profanities, then when someone asks say "yeah, you can really hear my thoughts. Wanker."

3) Whenever someone's on the phone, pretending to be the other half of the conversation, and seeing if I can distract them.

4) Reading excerpts from Edgar Allen Poe/Shakespeare.

5) Dancing.

Actually, that last one requires some explanation. I'd just got a new set of speakers for my iPod, and I wanted to see if they worked. So I cranked them out, plugged them in, and ten minutes later I got at least three people to do the Macarena. And then I did this to them.

I also dance to music on my iPod. Yeah. River-dancing is fine, but not at Flinders Street Station when no-one else can hear the music.

Okay, that's enough of that.

A few things that warrant sharing around the internet:

Firstly, this from our old friend Wikipedia:
Reductio ad Hitlerum, also argumentum ad Hitlerum, or reductio (or argumentum) ad Nazium – dog Latin for "reduction (or argument) to Adolf Hitler (or the Nazis)" – is a modern informal fallacy in logic. It is a variety of both questionable cause and association fallacy. The phrase reductio ad Hitlerum was coined by an academic ethicist, Leo Strauss, in 1953. Engaging in this fallacy is sometimes known as playing the Nazi card.
The fallacy most often assumes the form of "Hitler (or the Nazis) supported X, therefore X must be evil/undesirable/bad." The argument carries emotional weight as rhetoric, since in most cultures anything relating to Hitler or Nazis is automatically condemned. The tactic is often used to derail arguments, as such a comparison tends to distract and to result in angry and less reasoned responses.

(Oh, check out this from Jeph Jacques's Questionable Content)

Go here for an MP3 of Senator Ted Steven's speech on Net Neutrality that included the famous phrase "The Internet is a series of tubes". Yes, he really did say that. And yes, he is a Senator.

I would also recommend anyone with an atheistic vein, check out the homepage of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. A decrease in the number of Pirates is to blame for Global Warming. And there's a graph to prove it.

Richardson's Morality Theorem: created by my good friend Tom Richardson during a philosophy lesson when we were bored, it runs that "whenever you smile at a rainbow, a unicorn appears and gives you morality". When pressed to provide evidence, he replied "look, it's invisible, alright? That's why you can't see it".

Also in a philosophical vein, I hate Iris Murdoch. More on that later, but the biggest distinction between Male and Female philosophy students is that guys like Nietzsche and hate Murdoch, girls like Murdoch and hate Nietzsche.

Au Revoir.

Sir-Drinks-A-Lot...

2008-09-21T20:45:00.006+10:00

So it's Sunday night, and I'm doing what any young, sensible man would do on a Sunday. That's right, I'm at home watching How I Met Your Mother.

Anyway, here are some of the drinks mentioned in the Episode "Belly Full of Turkey", as seen on the Barney Blog (archive copy here):

THANKSTINI
1 part Vodka
2 parts Cranberry juice
1 Boullion Cube (chicken)

A real centerpiece for your T-day spread, the Thankstini will parade down your esophagus like turkeys to the slaughter.

THE LONG WINTER'S NAP
1 bottle Rye Whiskey
1 bottle Children's Formula Cough Syrup

Liberally spike the bottle of whiskey with the cough syrup and count your visiting relatives like sheep as you drift into a holiday hibernation of contentment.

ARBOR DAZE
1 part Gin
1 Tree-Shaped Car Freshener

Salute our tall, wooden friends on the last April Friday with a classy tumbler filled to the brim with dry gin and stirred with your choice of car fresheners. I recommend grabbing an assortment at your local car-wash and trying out several "shades," though I find the vanillaroma and new-car the most tree-licious.

THE CHRISTMAS HAM
1 part Bourbon
1 Tbsp. Brown Sugar
1 jar Bacon Bits

Garnish this drink with a pineapple ring and enjoy all the flavor of a Christmas ham, with half the calories, and 1/20th the preparation time, allowing you more time to unwrap any tasty presents dear Santa has left you under the tree.

RAMADAN AND COKE
1 part Rum
2 parts Cola (or "Pop," if you're retarded)

Celebrate the third pillar of Islam and practice self-control with a delicious R and C. Mix conservatively as daytime fasting, while providing more bang for your alcoholic buck, might have you praying towards Mecca sooner than you know it.

INDEPENDENCE DAY JUICE
1 part Cinnamon Schnapps
1 part Milk
1 part Curacao
1 package Sparklers

Shoot this spangled shot and avoid talking shop at your next 4th of July barbecue. NOTE: Place sparklers outside rim of shotglass.

Au Revoir

Family, Creativity...

2008-09-20T16:49:00.003+10:00

Family lunch today. All six of us descended like the wrath of God (Yes, I am an atheist, but it's easier to say "God" than "random fluctuation in space/time for which we cannot, yet, see an explanation") upon the Dendy Deli in Brighton.

I feel sorry for restaurants that have to deal with us. First you have two small children screaming with excitement. Add a fussy eater or two, a person who can't make up their mind on what to have, and stick me in the middle. Something will invariably be sent back, and if more than ten seconds elapses between ordering and arrival of food, prepare to hear a complaint. It's kind of like Gordon Ramsay - by swearing and hurling abuse we hope to bring out the best in you. Frankly, it's a baptism of fire for any waiter/waitress foolish enough to say the words "may I take your order?".

I had a BLT. I appreciate that it isn't good for me, and all you vegetarians can go rot; I likes me crispy bacon. And it was good!

Sometimes it's the simple things which are the best. I could have ordered one of the many elaborate (and, lets not forget, expensive) dishes available, and I may even have enjoyed it more, but there's something almost spiritual about a good BLT. It's nourishment for the soul (a phrase my RE department would be shocked to hear me use).

Developments on the creative front! Mostly other people's!

For your pleasure, we present "Unjustice" by Bethany Shoer (check out her blog):

For an undeterminable, near-infinite duration,
Pensive, anxious
Like a male walrus on a smooth warm stone
Pondering his sexuality
Only to have it proven
Abruptly
By a befuddled young Irishman entranced, enthralled by
Bestiality and seditious lust

The victims, whilst somewhat deprived
Of any sort of stereotypical beauty and respectibility, were
Bald, corpulent and irrepressibly curvaceous
Like the aforementioned walrus.
Sitting atop a barren, ominous bench
The location for hysterical pleas
For justice and sanity in
This despicable, farcical world
They begged for mercy, clutching their hairless skulls
With their hands fraught with pain
"This monster! He must be condemned!"
They shrieked
Their shrill cries minor thirds apart in pitch
"UNJUSTICE!"

We quivered.
Bald, hideous and lacking in a basic vocabulary
No wonder young Paddy assumed their
Animalism.

Thus, with a deep sigh
Indicative of our obligations
A witness rose from the stands

"The running commentary in his mind
was chanting
PRETEND HE'S A WALRUS."

As well as the opening lines of Dave Parncutt's heavily anticipated "Doug Rap":

Yo this be me and my name's Doug/my voice is smoother than a velvet rug

As well as some works of my own. Every since I joked in a previous post on 'Wicked' about a musical based on '1984' (the George Orwell one, not the year), I've actually been giving it some serious though and decided the idea has potential. So, I present to you, the first draft of the first verse from the song "Two Plus Two Is Five", the finale to 1984 - The Musicganda from the Ministry Of Truth:

(Winston Smith)
Two plus two equals five,
It's a thought process that'll keep you alive,
Life is doubleplusgood, so the Party say.
What can be found in Room 101?
The person who knows best is you.
Just, bare in mind that five is two plus two.

Au Revoir.

International Nerd, My School And Other Animals...

2008-09-17T15:43:00.006+10:00

So apparently the french for dick-head is "le phallus tete". Now you know.

I know bits (mostly swearing) of 10 different languages, including Klingon and Esperanto. Let me tell you, the former is great for picking up chicks, because nothing says "I love you" like pledging to destroy a star-system and eat babies. The latter is fun because NO-ONE, and I mean no-one, speaks it. At least you can find nerds at a Sci-fi Con who speak Klingon.

Oh, great way to start a nerd fight; yell out "Piccard sucks! Kirk rules!" and then run for cover.

My school makes a big deal of being "Multi-cultural" and other sound-bites. To whit, the last time I encountered two of the school's Aboriginal students was when they were asked to play the didgeridoo and dance half-naked at the Sesquicentenary (yes, that IS a real word) Concert. Apparently this is "acceptance" of another culture.

I wish we could just drop the pretense, and just get back to being blatantly conservative. The only time we're forward thinking is when it comes to sucking money out of people: the "Centre For Learning and Leadership" speaks for itself (Actually, props to one member of staff who has started referring to it as the "Center For Loafing and Leisure", which is far closer to the truth).

Au Revoir.

Party...

2008-09-16T22:02:00.002+10:00

Imagine, if you will, a party.

That party is, in fact, my life.

Now, you might say "that's a pretty awesome life you've got Nick", but let me tell you something about this particular party.

It's the kind of party where you know no-one. All the beer's already been drunk, and the food makes you vomit. Some idiot is hanging in the corner playing music. His taste in music is terrible, but that's okay because you only hear the first thirty seconds of a song before he shakes his head, and changes to something almost identically dreadful.

You want to go home, but you can't because it would be rude, and you need to at least let the host know you're here, so you hover nervously around the edge of a conversation. When it finishes, half-an-hour later the host turns to you and says "I'll be back in a minute". You don't see them for the rest of the night.

The guy in the corner final picks a song he likes, and you decide to show off your dance moves. You pull a muscle, and fall to the ground, where you also manage to get a blood nose. Nobody offers to help.

You manage to get back up, but one of your contacts has fallen out. You eventually find it under the sofa. It's covered in cat hair. No-one in a ten-mile radius owns a cat. So where did the hair come from?

You turn to make your way to the bathroom and, quite by accident because you cannot see, punch the host's girlfriend in the face. As you try to apologize, you rip her dress.

The evening ends with you, blind, and feeling like you're going to throw up, being pummeled to death by the host, before thrown out for being "drunk and embarrassing".

That is my party, sometimes.

"It's D&D" by Stephen Lynch...

2008-09-15T15:59:00.008+10:00

You can also find a rather good version by a couple of guys dressed as Tycho and Gabe from Penny Arcade here

Au Revior.

Speaking of Rove...

2008-09-14T22:21:00.004+10:00

I should go watch the video-clip for Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl" again. You know. 'cause I love music and all that. Not for any other reason. Far out!

Au Revoir.

Hey Hey It's Rove...

2008-09-14T21:49:00.006+10:00

So Carrie Bickmore just made a hilarious (can I make my sarcasm any more clear?) about Daryl Somers (who apparently has an OAM!) talking with nine about reviving Hey Hey It's Saturday and that heralding the apocalypse. Well I say, not fair! Bring back Hey Hey.

Any of us who grew up in the 90s (the glory years), or owned a TV between '71 and '99 will be aware of what a brilliant program it was. And when they announced they were going off air, I died a little inside. I think it was the day that, as an eight-year-old, I accepted that nothing could last forever, no matter how much you wanted it too. I actually cried.

So what if the humor was a little cheesy in places? How could you not learn to love a program that gave us such staples as Red Faces and Plucka Duck, Masterslime and Media Watch Press (which, somewhat ironically for Carrie, was used as the basis for the What The? segment of Rove)? Ossie Ostrich and Plucka Duck where the heroes of my childhood, and Red Symons was the definition of evil. Oh, and Dickie Knee.

And who could forget Livinia Nixon, Wilbur Wilde, Molly Meldrum, Russell Gilbert, Jo Beth Taylor and all the other cast members who graced our screens over the years, who amused us with their stories and escapades.

It's an Australian Classic. Not loving it would be like shooting Phar Lap while spewing Vegemite all over the Flag and simultaneously urinating in a bottle of VB.

Au Revoir.

The Gospel According To Jones...

2008-09-14T21:16:00.002+10:00

“Thou shalt go out and party on the weekend, but thou shalt remember to not shame thyself or thy fellow party-ers...and thou shalt take a day of rest upon the first of every work-week, and it shall be known as 'the day of hangovers'...“

“Do not act in a way demeaning of thyself or the self of others, unless thou art in a state of drunken-ness; and even then thou shalt cause no lasting harm, but, being assured of thy prowess at singing, thou shalt partake in karaoke...“

“Thou shalt not think of thyself as anything more than one amongst many, for no-one likes a show-off. You're no better than anyone else, deal with it.“

“The greatest knowledge is of thyself; knowing that is all that matters. Eighth-grade maths is well for accountants, but self-awarness is well for humans.“

“Thou shalt honour thy mother and father - they birthed you, the least you can do is cough-up for a decent retirement-home; for remember that one day thouest will be old, and when that happens thou will want of a decent retirement-home too.“

“Thou shalt not, and I really want to stress this, NOT kill. Nor shalt thou engage others in violence. In exchange for this non-violence, thou shalt not act like thou hast a phallus for a head merely because thou shalt not be hit. Just everyone be cool, okay?“

“Thou shalt think, feel and be whatever thou wantest, provided it does not interfere with what other wish to think/feel/be. Nor shalt thou act as a phallus-head accordingly.“

“Drugs are a naturally occurance, they grow in the ground. Unless it causes you to act like an aforementioned phallus-head, which is a no-no, go bananas.“

“Believe whatever you want to believe, it matters not to me. If other do not share your belief, that's their loss. Do not force thy beliefs upon others. Just leave people alone.“

“Thou shalt never text while in a state of drunken-ness, nor shalt thy friends allow it. Thou mayest think “i <3 ur boobz“ is witty and poetic, but thou art alone in that regard.“

“Thou shalt make no decisions after two of the moring - no good may come of it, go back to bed.“

“Thou shalt accept responsibility for thy actions, not blame thy failings on others, particularly the foreign guy at work who doesn't speak English. That's a metaphor.“

“Do not buy more than thou can'st afford. Once again, metaphor.“

“Thou shalt make bad decisions and mistakes though thou tryest hard not too - that is allowed. The choice thing forbidden is to make one un-informed. If thou would smoke, be aware of the risks to thy health. If thou would drink, do so responsibly. If thou would use drugs, be aware of the consequences. It's common sense. Know thy limits, what thy can and can not handle. If thou doest not partake of this wisdom, thou art in posession of a phallus for a head.“

“All else thou shalt do free from persecution, but if thou contravenes any of these rules, thou nuts are mine.“

Wicked...

2008-09-14T14:07:00.004+10:00

So I'm going to see Wicked on October the 3rd with MS and MV! AWESOME!

Description I've heard that sold it to me the most: "It's about oppression. It's about a fascist regime's attempts to alienate and demonize through propaganda. It's like 1984 with Witches and singing."

While I have always wanted to hear a musical version of "Two Plus Two Is Five" (or "How I Learnt To Stop Thinking And Love The Party"), until such a time as that happens, Wicked is looking pretty brilliant to me.

The fanatical devotion showered upon it by M McG has finally got to me. Perhaps this way I'll finally be able to get her to stop.

Besides, I heard Defying Gravity at the aforementioned Jazz Soiree (I really should demand a dollar per plug, shouldn't I? I'd be rolling in cash), and it sounds freakin' (I feel like a dirty hillbilly) sweet.

According to the Fountain of All Things Knowledgeable (i.e. Wikipedia), "Wicked tells the story of Elphaba, the future Wicked Witch of the West and her relationship with Glinda, the Good Witch of the North. Their friendship struggles through their opposing personalities and viewpoints, rivalry over the same love-interest, their reactions to the Wizard's corrupt government, and, ultimately, Elphaba's public fall from grace. The plot is set mostly before Dorothy's arrival from Kansas, and includes several references to well-known scenes and dialogue in the 1939 film The Wizard of Oz."

I'm really looking forward to it.

Oh, and I also want to see Machiavelli, The Musical. I'm thinking (for the theme tune) I Don't Want To Set The World On Fire.

Au Revoir.

Mummy-Mia...

2008-09-12T23:21:00.004+10:00

Before I start: 1, 2, 3 -collective groan-. That truly was a terrible pun.

Ah, so I went and saw The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. Fans of the films, it's worth seeing. Everyone else, I don't know.

I mean, it follows the same, tired, predictable story as the other films: archaeologists discover a tomb, crazy mystic fanatics complete some bizarre ritual, the mummy comes alive, and then Brendan Fraser and an all star cast proceed to blow the crap out of it. Oh, and John Hannah makes an almost infuriating number of jokes along the lines of "can't they stay dead?", "I hate Mummies" and so on and so forth.

As a film, it's pretty terrible. Indiana Jones, which came out earlier this year, beat them to the whole father/son arch; you know, the one where they start of by fighting and then realize they're pretty much the same guy, really. Shia LeBouf and Harrison Ford were just that much more believable. Personally, I couldn't see Luke Ford as Brendan Fraser's son, and I'm certainly not alone in this (Side Note: I podcast the Totally Rad Show - check out their review from the 6/8).

Oh, and where the HELL is Rachel Weisz? Although I can totally respect that she had "problems with the script".

You could mistakenly think, from reading thus far, that I didn't like Mummy 3. You'd be wrong. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Don't get me wrong, it was a terrible film. The plot was shocking and implausible, and no Rachel Weisz. But, you know, that's kind of the point. If Indiana Jones is a spoof of the genre, then The Mummy is a spoof of that. And they even make a little joke about the fact Rachel isn't there ("I can honestly say she's an entirely different woman"). There's a loving tribute in that Jonathan's nightclub is called Imhotep (after the villain of the first two films), and, yeah, it's unbelievable, but so what? Don't think, just watch. You'll have fun. It'll be a magical ride. And there's an awesome battle between Terra-cotta Warriors and the Undead.

Blah blah blah Jet Li blah blah Michelle Youh blah sword fight. 'nuff said really.

Au Revoir.

Angel Wings, Jazz Soirees, And Why I Shouldn't Be Left Alone...

2008-09-12T17:17:00.004+10:00

Just to get this off the bat quickly, here is the picture of me:

Yes, I did wear Black Angel Wings to school. Why? Shits and giggles. Also, I like to think I added a little bit of magic to everyone's day. You know that part of people that says "this is a bad idea. You'll be horrible embarrassed."? I don't have that. I think it might have died. Anyway, for me, doing stuff like that is the equivalent of, say, Bungee Jumping - just a rush of testosterone.

Ah, next topic.

Like listening to Barry Mannilow, tights, and covering yourself in honey, Jazz music is incredibly sexy. And so it was with great pleasure I found myself at the Korowa Jazz Soiree last night. FANTASTIC PERFORMANCE! The singers were great, the music was brilliant, and some of the original compositions were just plain awesome.

Highlights for me were Chicago's "25 or 6 to 4", which is a really great tune, very cool, and "Defying Gravity" from the musical "Wicked".

Shout-outs to BS who invited me and was the rockin' Bass player of choice, KP, who I hadn't seen since prep and had a crush on, who was grooving on the piano, and to AW, who was every bit as lovely as she was in primary school.

As for why I shouldn't be left alone, it's because I sing Gilbert & Sullivan songs when I get bored. So now you know.

Au Revoir.

Still Alive...

2008-09-09T21:55:00.002+10:00

For anyone who played Portal:
1) I got really bored and figured out how to play the guitar bit for "Still Alive" in Jam Sessions on my DS. Please don't judge me.
2) If anyone was lucky enough to go to PAX, I hate you, you lucky bastards, you got to see Felicia Day sing "Still Alive" with Jonathan Coulton.
3) Go to http://www.vgcats.com/comics/extras/stillalive.php to see a really cute little Flash animation by Scott of VG Cats (while you're there, check out his webcomic...it's not all crap!)

Au Revoir.

Hmm...

2008-09-09T16:02:00.003+10:00

Quick update (more later): I've just been informed that CERN are going to turn on the Large Hadron Collider tomorrow. If anything f%^&s up, we could all be dead.

Au Revoir.

Bad News...

2008-09-08T19:01:00.000+10:00

Gordon "F$%^ing" Ramsey is back on TV.
I also hear he's got an OBE - the Queen must be losing it, giving that to someone like him.

Au Revoir.

(PS. I love italics, they're so expressive.)

Video Games, And Where Jack Thompson Should Stick It...

2008-09-08T17:09:00.000+10:00

Two SACs today - one in Psych (which to be honest I'm regretting doing. I thought there would be more breaking people's minds), the other in Media (yes, I'm aware it's considered a "bludge", that's why I'm studying it).

Anyway, today we were doing the second part of a media SAC on different communication theories...I won't bore you with the details but the case study which we had to explain was an article regarding the Virginia Tech shootings, with some comments from everybody's favorite Florida Attorney and self-proclaimed "scourge" of the Video Game Industry, Jack Thompson.

For those of you unfamiliar with Mr. Thompson's work, I'll quote his wikipedia page:

More recently, Thompson has heavily criticized a number of video games and campaigned against their producers and distributors. His basic argument is that violent video games have repeatedly been used by teenagers as "murder simulators" to rehearse violent plans. He has pointed to alleged connections between such games and a number of school massacres. According to Thompson, "In every school shooting, we find that kids who pull the trigger are video gamers." Also, he claims that scientific studies show teenagers process the game environment differently from adults, leading to increased violence and copycat behavior. According to Thompson, "If some wacked-out adult wants to spend his time playing Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, one has to wonder why he doesn't get a life, but when it comes to kids, it has a demonstrable impact on their behavior and the development of the frontal lobes of their brain." Thompson has described the proliferation of games by Sony, a Japanese company, as "Pearl Harbor 2." According to Thompson, "Many parents think that stores won’t sell an M-rated game to someone under 17. We know that's not true, and, in fact, kids roughly 50 percent of that time, all the studies show, are able to walk into any store and get any game regardless of the rating, no questions asked."

Thompson has rejected arguments that such video games are protected by freedom of expression, saying, "Murder simulators are not constitutionally protected speech. They’re not even speech. They’re dangerous physical appliances that teach a kid how to kill efficiently and to love it," as well as simply calling video games "mental masturbation". In addition, he has attributed part of the impetus for violent games to the military, saying that it was looking "for a way to disconnect in the soldier's mind the physical act of pulling the trigger from the awful reality that a life may end." Thompson further claims that some of these games are based on military training and simulation technologies, such as those being developed at the Institute for Creative Technologies, which, he suggests, were created by the Department of Defense to help overcome soldiers' inhibition to kill. He also claims that the PlayStation 2's DualShock controller "gives you a pleasurable buzz back into your hands with each kill. This is operant conditioning, behavior modification right out of B. F. Skinner's laboratory."

The argument that Video Games, and the violence occasionally contained within, may cause extreme violence in some people is hardly a revolutionary, or, indeed a startling one. I mean, the same can be said of violent movies, or how listening to Marilyn Manson makes you a bad person (zing!). Some people are going to respond in this way to anything you throw at them, but for every lone nutter out there, there's at least a hundred guys and girls who frequently frag, slash and pwn noobs but wouldn't hurt a fly.

Sure, by all means restrict who can purchase violent games (oh wait, we already do that. It's called RATINGS, you may have heard of them when you were kicked out of the Cinema for trying to see naughty films), put warnings on labels (already doing it), maybe even put some kind of filter so it's not too violent. But please, don't blame the game because you're a psychopath.

On to the case at hand:
Mr. Thompson has taken it upon himself to lead a crusade against video games - wait, I'll say that again. Not a crusade against violence in games, but games themselves. Apparently anyone who has ever seen Terminator is eventually going to act it out starring themselves as Arnie and go on a killing rampage. With regard to the Virginia Tech shootings, apparently Counter Strike, amongst other games, "trained" the shooter to be a "virtual soldier", and that without video-games, none of this would have ever happened. The shootings certainly had nothing to do with his history of mental illness. Not at all.

Oh, it's also irrelevant that when the police raided his apartment there was no sign of any video games, consoles, or any other form of gaming gadgetry. Please don't try and claim he got violent ideas from playing Snake on his mobile, surely even you can see that's crazy.

I'm all for protesting vehemently for what you believe in, lord knows I've punched people in the face for suggesting that maybe Connex is doing an okay job, but please, Mr. Thompson, let's at least have a little method in our madness, okay? You've obviously conducted research into the matter, but can I raise a valid counter-point? I'm pretty sure Hitler never played GTA 4, and he did some pretty terrible things. I'm sorry to cheapen the debate by relating it to Hitler, but you're obviously not after intelligent debate, are you? You just want controversy, 'cause controversy makes you money.

Video games are a form of escapism, which, actually, is quite good for you. I mean, when else can I be a mischievous Mage who hurls flame-balls at people? Where else can I ride unicorns? Without doing drugs? 'Cause, you know, you haven't said anything bad about them and I'm sure they create even more problems than video games. You know. People killing each other over them. I'll be perfectly honest, if someone took my copy of Red Alert 2 I might...you know...ask if I could have it back. Damn, I guess I wouldn't respond violently. Sorry.

Maybe Tim Buckley got it right:

Au Revoir.

Modern Poetry...

2008-09-07T21:05:00.001+10:00

Those of you who know me particularly well will know what a massive advocate of music in all it's forms (okay, that's a lie. I like a particular kind of music, i.e. good music, and am very vocal in my criticisms of any other form of music, mostly because I don't see it as music).

I don't like Rap or R'n'B (I'm fine with Rhythm and Blues, but not R'n'B - if I need to explain the difference, we're no longer friends. And that would be tragic, wouldn't it? Thought so).

Anyway, most modern stuff is pretty terrible, but occasionally you can across a piece of gold:

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end?

That's the chorus to Nelly Furtardo's "All Good Things (Come To An End)". First time I heard it I almost cried. If you are going to listen to it, I'd recommend the Norwegian Recycling version which you can download for free.

Another song that makes me cry is "The Scientist" by Coldplay:

Nobody said it was easy,
It's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard.

Oh take me back to the start.

Yeah. Music has this amazing ability to stir up these fantastic emotions in us. I think that the music we chose to listen to says something about us as a person. I listen to Chameleon Circuit, so I'm obviously a total nerd.

I'm gonna go listen to some Kate Nash, so, until next time, au revoir.

Musings...

Moving...

In Which Nick Makes A Mistake, And Learns The Real Meaning Of Tight-Arse Tuesday...

A Funny Thing Happened On My Way Here Today...

My Mother And Other Monsters...

Nick Goes To The Movies...

Well, Quite...

#15 - And it's on time! *gasp*

#14 - The Real Deal...

#13 in the late afternoon of the 14th...

#12, Although It's On The 13th...

#11 - I Think I've Figured It Out...

#10 - Meh...

#9 - ...And I Feel Fine!

#8 - Day Off...

#7 - Irony...

#6 - Childish...

#5 - Made Of Awesome (Musically!)...

#4 - The Madness Continues...

#3 - My Day...

#2 - Something Important To Me...

Blatantly Ripped-Off, But With Love...

Things (Stuff, If You Will)...

Boredom - Look What It's Done To Me...

Amuse Me...

A Quick Question...

Ah, Fun...

An Unexpected Occurance...

A long time in the making...

The Summer Of 69ing...

Birth Of A New Era...

Ain't No Cure For The Summer Time Blues...

Huh...Someone Thinks I'm Funny...

HA!

With Apologies To All Concerned...

Blah - Metaphysical Concept, Or Just Laziness?

Nick Jones - Novelist...

How are you...?

Nick Jones, Internet Celebrity...

I've Never Been To Me (male version)

School, The Tenth Layer of Hell...

Alaska, eh?

Wicked...

10 Ways of Spending $22 Million That Don't Involve 'Leadership'...

Music & Lyrics...

Fear For My Life...

Trams, Trains and Ways of Passing The Time...

Sir-Drinks-A-Lot...

Family, Creativity...

International Nerd, My School And Other Animals...

Party...

"It's D&D" by Stephen Lynch...

Speaking of Rove...

Hey Hey It's Rove...

The Gospel According To Jones...

Wicked...

Mummy-Mia...

Angel Wings, Jazz Soirees, And Why I Shouldn't Be Left Alone...

Still Alive...

Hmm...

Bad News...

Video Games, And Where Jack Thompson Should Stick It...

Modern Poetry...

#15 - And it's on time! gasp